Page 15 of Love Sick

I don’t sense any maliciousness to his words, but I still don’t trust him. And I still want him dead.

“Time for your meds.” He comes to a stand and wheels me toward the nurses’ station where they administer our drugs.

I make quick eye contact with Old Timer, who nods discreetly. I have no idea how I’m supposed to not take my pills seeing as the nurses give my mouth a strip search to ensure I’ve swallowed them. But I have to try.

My fellow roommates are in line, waiting for the drugs which sedate us so we don’t cause any problems. It’s common practice for us now and we’re like farm animals who come because we know when it’s time to be fed.

It’s disgusting.

I can’t believe I used to welcome this time of the day. I once preferred to be numb, but not anymore. Now I need to get the hell out of here.

I don’t fail to feel Noah’s fingers stroke my back. The touch may seem innocent if anyone were to see because he’s pushing my wheelchair. But I can feel it’s done with intent…and I don’t like it.

Nurse Belinda is on duty. She’s like the drug police, but instead of saying no to drugs, she’s force-feeding them down our throats.

I need to think fast because I’m next in line.

I notice Belinda eyeing Noah in a completely unprofessional manner. No wonder she wants us drugged and tucked into bed by seven p.m. God knows what happens once the lights are out.

When Teddy in front of me takes his meds, I watch closely in the way Belinda examines Teddy’s mouth.

She asks him to open wide and to lift his tongue. When satisfied, she gestures with her chin that it’s our turn.

Noah wheels me over while I ensure not to draw any attention to myself. I can only hope she’s too enamored by Noah to notice me.

“I missed you,” she says, retrieving the clear medicine cup containing my pills.

“I missed you too,” Noah replies, but his enthusiasm lacks. “Have you seen her?”

Her?

Belinda shakes her head quickly, as if too afraid to say her name. She places the cup under my bottom lip and tosses the white pills into my mouth. Old Timer didn’t say anything about these, so I swallow and open my mouth before she can ask.

She uses a penlight to ensure I’ve swallowed and when satisfied, reaches the medicine cup with the two blue pills.

“Have you seen her since—” Belinda soon pauses, however, paling. I can only assume that’s because Noah has given her a facial cue not to continue.

Her fingers tremble as she places the cup to my mouth and tosses the pills into my mouth.

“She wants to check your cheeks, move it under your tongue. She asks to look under your tongue, you push it to the back of your throat.”

I jolt when I hear a voice I don’t remember, but it feels familiar.

I don’t think twice when I do what the voice inside my head told me to do.

Pretending to swallow, I use my tongue to push the pills into my cheek and open my mouth so Belinda can look into the back of my throat.

“Tongue,” she says apathetically, and I quickly do as the stranger said and use my tongue to push the pills to the back of my throat. “I wonder where she’s gone. No one has seen her.”

Belinda checks my mouth without care, as she’s too occupied talking about whoeversheis.

“Do you think—”

“Shh,” Noah warns, and before she can ask him any more questions, he’s wheeling me away.

Old Timer is sweeping under a table, but when I pass him by, he winks discreetly. “Help an old man out and lift this table for me?”

Noah sighs, but I’m surprised he does as Old Timer asks.

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