Page 82 of Heart Sick

“Who is it?”

“I can’t know for certain…”

“But you have some idea, right?” Panic overwhelms me because I know what he’s going to say before he even says it.

“Yes, but that’s the one thing I refuse to believe.”

“Who?” I whisper, eyes filled with tears.

“When I’ve had these visions, I see…your eyes behind the wheel.”

It’s like Dutch has a sudden epiphany, and he clenches his jaw.

“What is it?”

He goes to stand, but I grip his wrist, begging he tell me the truth because I’m at his mercy.

“In a vision, I saw Jack with a woman.”

“Like a lover?”

He nods.

“And you think that woman isme?”

His silence speaks volumes.

“Oh my god.” Vomit soon rises and I throw off the blanket, running to the bathroom.

I throw up the small amount of food I just ate, but I want to purge this entire nightmare from my body.

“Luna—”

“Go away,” I mumble, my head buried in the toilet.

He, of course, doesn’t listen. He sits down beside me. He doesn’t touch me, however, and for that, I am glad. I need to wrap my head around all of this. I don’t understand it, but I can’t help but acknowledge that this doesn’t feel like news to me.

It feels as if I already knew just who Jack was.

“So us meeting wasn’t a coincidence? This connection we feel is because we knew the same man?”

I’m afraid to look at Dutch, but I can’t hide forever.

Lifting my head, I look at Dutch through new eyes because are we really connected in some sick, macabre way?

“No wonder you don’t trust me.”

“Luna—”

He tries to touch me, but I shrink away. “No, don’t. Until I know who I am…until I know what I did, I don’t think I’ll ever be okay with us.”

Dutch frowns, my comment wounding him. “I understand, but my feelings for you…they’re just that. They’remine.I meant everything I said to you.”

Tears sting my eyes, but I wipe them away. “What god-awful nightmare are we living? Tell me everything you know about me. Please,” I add, as I don’t want him to sugarcoat anything.

He nods before coming to a stand. He offers his hand, but I don’t take it. He hides his offense and leaves me alone to digest what he just shared.

How is this possible?

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