Page 59 of Heart Sick

He doesn’t linger and sweeps away.

I need out of here and I thought Old Timer was my ticket, but if he’s working with Noah, then I can’t trust him.

A rally is on the TV. It’s of women protesting about abortion rights. I don’t understand why anyone believes they have the right to dictate what a woman can do with her body. A woman on the TV smashes a sign over a religious zealot’s head.

I fist pump in unity.

“I thought you’d like to sit together for a while.” I have no idea what Alanna means until I turn to look over my shoulder and see Luna.

Alanna smiles kindly while I forget my own name. It feels like months since I was last this close to Luna. I was barely alive until now.

But Luna stares straight ahead.

“It’s just the effects of the sedation. It’ll wear off soon,” Alanna explains, reading my concerns. “But I think she’d like to sit with you.”

She doesn’t dally and leaves us alone, revealing she really is one of the good guys.

It’s cloudy out, but the light which trickles in through the window highlights the blonde in Luna’s long hair. She really is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.

I reach out and gently place my hand over hers. She’s ice cold. She doesn’t flinch, and I wonder what she did to be sedated in such a way.

“Causing trouble again, baby,” I whisper, squeezing her fingers gently. “I’ve missed you.”

She doesn’t respond.

Her blue eyes are fixed ahead, but no one is home.

“Sing to her.”

“Sing what?” But I answer my own question when I hear ‘Heroes’ by David Bowie. It happened once before and I don’t even know why that is—I don’t even like Bowie. But just like the name popped into my head when asked who we were, so does the song, so I go with it.

With our fingers still interlaced, I begin to sing, surprising myself when I know the words by heart. When I get to the chorus, something happens—I begin to see the rain, even though it’s not raining outside.

I hear the gravel under the tires. I see the headlights of each car I pass by. My singing morphs into the radio as I’m suddenly behind the wheel, tapping along to Bowie. Peering down, I see I’m wearing a football jersey. It’s of my football team.

With one hand on the wheel, I reach into the middle console and pull out a joint. Mom would be livid if she found out I smoked pot. But she’d be beside herself if she knew the real me.

She thinks I’m perfect, but I’m not. If she ever found out that I was dealing drugs to pay for my own habit, it’ll kill her. I need to protect her because I love her so much.

But that’s not the worst of it.

If she knew what I was doing, she’d never forgive me. But she won’t tell me the truth, but…shewill. She knows who he is, and I will do anything to find out who he is.

Shit.

I quickly brush the ash from the leather seat, not wanting to burn Mom’s car. She worked hard for it. She’s worked hard for everything. I know I seem ungrateful, but I need to know him. Even though he was never there for me, I want to know him. I need to know if he is…sick like I am.

I mean, you’ve only got one dad…

An ear-splitting crash robs me of air, and I’m flying, careening through the air. I know when I stop, however, I’ll be dead. It wasn’t an accident…because I know who killed me.

As I take my final breath, I think of her…I’m so sorry, Mom. I love you. Please forgive me for what I’ve done.

I blink back my tears as I claw at my chest. I need to get out of my skin. I want to scream. I want to fight. But a single touch grounds me. It draws me back to her.

With a gasp, I return to the now, unsure what the hell just happened. I was reliving a memory that wasn’t mine, but now, I know whose it was—it was Jack’s.

The man whose heart is in my chest was named Jack.

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