Page 102 of Heart Sick

It’s because of Dr. Norton that I can’t remember a thing.

I blink past the light, finally seeing the truth, and it burns. Focusing on the doctor, she sees it—she knows I remember and that she’s a fucking liar.

“You…bitch,” I snarl, a surge of adrenaline giving me the strength of a hundred men as I fight against the men holding me down.

I’m jabbed in the leg with something, but it doesn’t slow me down.

“Where is he?” I scream, saliva running down my chin.

Dr. Norton ignores me as she wheels over a machine.

“I said, where thefuckis he?”

“The hallucinations are back,” she says to an orderly like I’m not here. “I really thought she was getting better.”

“Her world is better than facing the truth, Doc.”

It infuriates me further.

“Where is Dutch?”

The orderly attempts to shove something into my mouth, but I’m too fast and bite his hand.

He pulls away, hollering. Good, I hope I drew blood.

Dr. Norton suddenly appears overhead. I arch my neck to look at her. She’s upside down, which seems like the perfect image for this messed-up situation.

“I told you,” she explains softly, but it’s patronizing. “He’s dead, Luna. He died because of the voices inside his head. He was very sick. He had hallucinations, just like you. What he was claiming, to hear the voice of his donor, it’s not real. His mental illness took his life in the end. But I won’t let that happen to you.”

I don’t want to believe her. Dutch wasn’t insane. Together, we made sense. It was us versus the world.

“He’s not dead!” I refuse to believe it. Surely life isn’t this cruel.

“Heisdead. I am so sorry. But if it gives you any solace, his last act was to save you. The love you shared wasn’t conventional, but it made sense to you both. A unique love.”

“Stop it!” I shake my head violently, refusing to believe her. “You’re lying! He wouldn’t leave me.”

Dr. Norton places cool paddles on the side of my head, and as I scream, a nurse shoves a guard into my mouth, forcing me to bite down.

My eyes are locked with Dr. Norton’s as she smiles sweetly, so sweetly, I want to be sick.

“I’ll take care of you. Everything is going to be all right.”

Tears run down my cheeks when I realize this is now my reality, a world where Dutch no longer exists. I finally surrender, the electrical current burning me alive from the inside out.

When the buzzing ends and the current ceases, I see myself lying on the table because I’m floating above myself. I’m no longer a part of this world.

Dr. Norton checks my pulse and nods at the nurse, who pales when she says, “One more time.”

My body convulses, but I don’t feel a thing.

I am numb.

This is my world now, but before I close my eyes, I hear the words which have me clawing at the dirt which covers my grave.

No, this isn’t the end. It’s just the beginning because I remember his name…the name which forever will be my reason to fight.

Misha…

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