Page 87 of Crybaby

Rev smirks and searches the sky as he chokes out a laugh. “There she is,” he tells the heavens and meanders off to take a piss by a tree.

The bag beside the digger has cats in it. I fucking know it, and they are all alive.

The old guy turns to me and rests his arm on the shovel conversationally.“The damn rodents won’t leave me be!” he says and spits on the ground.

“Get your fucking face on the ground right now!” I order, completely horrified by what’s going on.

He puts his arms up in utter shock, and the shovel drops into the grave.“Lass, I think you need to put ye weapon away. I’m not hurtin’ nobody here. I’m just getting rid o’ these vermin.”

“Get. Your. Fucking. Face. On. The. Ground. Now!” and I shoot a shot into the air, which has Rev running back, frantically zipping up his fly and trying to rip the gun out of my hands, but I hold fast.

“Are you fucking insane! We are lying low, and you shoot your fucking gun?” he spits, and it’s the first time I’ve seen him annoyed with me. This guy, who probably turned me into a psychopath.

The cats are screaming now. Like they know that rescue is imminent. I tear open the bag to see the most beautiful golden kittens pour out. My face fills with tears, and I shoot another shot into the air.

“This world is a piece of shit!” I scream, and the man is now shaking with his face on the ground and his boots kicking the dirt.

Rev is mad. I can see the vein at his neck throbbing with each infuriated breath he takes. “You’re going to risk everything for some fucking cats? You’ve lost your goddamn mind.”

I sniff back my tears while I keep the gun trained on the cat killer and reach down to cradle the kittens in one hand.

Behind us, there is a truck, and it’s what we need to get out of here. Rev is two steps ahead of me and rips the keys from the old guy’s back pocket. He removes his jacket and boots as well, then storms over to the truck and hoists them into the back tray.

“Get in the truck… NOW,” Rev orders, his patience shot.

“I’m not leaving these kittens,” I whisper, crouched down trying to collect them all. They’re crawling over me trying to seek warmth and my heart is breaking.

“Leave the fucking cats. We have to go NOW!” Rev asserts, kicking the door of the truck with his boots.

I can’t leave them. I’m lying in the dirt, crying with ten kittens crawling all over me, and I want to save them all. I want to save me.

Defenseless creatures only wanting love. No mother and no one to protect them. I’m gutted, and I feel sick. Vomit rises, but nothing comes out as I dry retch.

Suddenly, I’m yanked by the arm and pulled upward. Rev has lost his cool with me, and I hate him right now. I hate myself, and I hate him.

He places a rough hand on the back of my neck and steers me, marching toward the truck. The kittens are screaming behind me, small dots of fluff in the dirt crying for me to come back. The pain in my heart is excruciating, and now the one person I loved and trusted is turning into a monster.

“I love you, little brat! I’m doing this for your own good, now get in the fucking truck,” he says and shoves my small weeping frame into the passenger seat.

I slump over and scream louder than I’ve ever screamed. Right along with those kittens.

Rev places a large hand over my mouth and pins my head to the back of the headrest. The old man still has his face buried in the dirt, and I wish I’d killed him to save my furry babies. But Rev stopped me. This is all his fault.

I hate all men on this earth because they cause nothing but pain. Nothing but torture. I’m going to fucking destroy Carson with every fiber in my body and…maybe even Rev too.

Darcie is howling beside me…and all for somefuckingkittens.

I don’t get it. I’ve seen her torture with a smile, but now she’s losing her shit because she’s suddenly a cat person.

What the fuck is going on?

“Darcie, enough,” I say, trying to focus on the road covered with potholes. But her cries only grow. “I know it sucks, but you can’t save everything. We can barely save our own asses, and you’re worried about some strays!”

“Fuck y-you,” she sobs, not even able to look at me. “You’re nothing but a fucking cruel asshole. They are defenseless. We could have helped them, but you chose to abandon them. I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

“We save ten kittens, and there will be ten more! What fucking difference does it make?” I slam my palm against the steering wheel, furious we’re having this ridiculous conversation.

She continues staring out her window, back turned to me.

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