Page 62 of Crybaby

She jumps off the end, and when I follow, a man dressed as a tree comes out of nowhere. I punch him square in the face, and ironically, he drops like a tree. It’s a knee-jerk reaction.

“Timber!” Darcie shouts, skipping toward the next adventure.

I step over the guy I just knocked out, and when I see a room full of mirrors, I curse this horrible idea. But with nowhere to go, I follow Darcie, who is cackling at her reflection in one of the silly mirrors that morphs her into a giant.

“I’m the prettiest girl in all of Tulgey,” she says, pointing at the green painted sign slapped on the wall.

Apparently, we are in the enchanted forest of Tulgey.

Double lame.

Grabbing Darcie from behind and wrapping my arms around her waist, I kiss the side of her neck as we look into the mirror. Now we both look ridiculous.

“I could have told you that,” I confess, loving the way she leans back into me.

Her breaths suddenly quicken, and I wonder if she’s thinking about what we did in the kitchen. I am. I can’t stop.

“Catch me,” she says, suddenly twisting out of my arms and running away.

The room of mirrors is now a fucking maze.

“Darcie!” I call out as the lights become a strobe effect. “Stop fucking around.”

Of course, she ignores me, her laughter joining in with the mechanical one over the speakers.

I make my way through the room, cursing when I bump into a mirrored wall. Turning around, I stop and assess my surroundings because there is always a solution to every problem.

However, who I see standing behind me has become one big fucking problem.

“I never took you for the ‘fun’ type,” Foss says, folding his arms and talking big. “Or is stealing from my family fun for you?”

Yeah, not my proudest moment. I did steal from Foss’s family. I also fucked his mom. Mrs. Kingston, aka Foss’s mom. He must have seen his mom’s crocodile tears on the news when my mug was plastered on the TV.

Things just got interesting…

I laugh in response. “I like to do all sorts of fun shit…like fucking your mom.”

“You motherfucker!”

“Yes, yes, I am.Yourmother fucker.”

Foss comes charging for me, but the weak asshole has no muscle on him, and I sidestep him. His head crashes into the mirror, and the glass slowly cracks, piece by piece in the middle.

I laugh hysterically.

This fun house is a fucking hoot, after all.

I’m about to kick Foss in the teeth, but two guys suddenly grab my arms. They are jacked on something because when I look up at them, I see bulging neck veins and an uncontrollable temper, which is undoubtedly coupled with a tiny dick.

“Think you’re funny?” one of them says as he headbutts me.

I stagger back into the mirror, winded.

Gripping my side, I grin. “I am fucking hilarious.”

Taking a closer look at him, I see that he looks a lot like Foss. I take a stab and guess this is his big brother.

“Ask your mom…she can vouch for how funny I am when I was eating her pussy.”

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