Page 47 of Crybaby

“Stop what? Fuck me now, or I’m leaving,” I bluntly say.

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” he says, and his eyes are like two healing lakes of liquid gold that I just want to smash out of his face.

I grab him and slide my broken mouth over his, demanding he kiss me back by forcing my tongue into his mouth. He resists and tries to talk to me instead.He tries to make me see reason.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” I scream at him. “Am I too trashy for you now? Did the boys make me too dirty for you? Mr. Holier-Than-Thou can’t get his cock dirty, can he?”

I’m ready for a fight, but at the same time, my shoulders are shaking, and my body betrays me with tears. I fall down to the carpet and curl into a ball.

Make this day end.

Make this day just a dream.

I want to die.

Set me free.

I go into my mind, and I can’t move.

I feel his jacket drift soft air over the top of me, landing across my body, and his big arms scoop me and the jacket up. “Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay,” he hushes me. “I’ve got you.”

Rev carries me into the tiny bathroom and knocks on the shower taps that cause it to cough and splutter brown water into a midget-sized bathtub. He pulls the mold-covered shower curtain back so it doesn’t touch me.

The water runs clear, as my mind does, and I suddenly feel naked as he removes the jacket from my body and takes me under the water. I feel like I’m being baptized as he remains fully dressed.

He places my feet down gently and faces me away from him. I tip my head down to see blood and dirt circling the drain. Water hits my scalp, and I wince as if my skull has been cracked open and someone just poured acid onto it. He gathers my hair into his large hands carefully behind me and sweeps it all back off my shoulders.

“It’s washing away, Darcie.” His voice is soft and nurturing, and I suddenly feel guilty for what I did to him. What I said. As if hearing my thoughts, he says, “It’s okay.”

He reaches around and offers me a sliver of used soap that is cracked and hard. I remove my hands from clutching my chest and shakily take it.

He steps out of the shower and draws the curtain across to give me privacy. “I’m right here.”

My body is racked with pain, and every movement feels like I’m breaking bones. I wash. Everything. Over and over until my skin is raw.

The water runs cold, and I slide down to the bath floor, letting it hit my back.

With a screech, I hear the taps being turned off and the pipes in the walls banging hard like the pounding in my head. I look up to see Rev standing with a yellow towel open for me, and his eyes averted.

I’m hugging my knees, and behind him, I see a hole in the wall. “Norman is watching,” I say with a half laugh.

“It’s Earl, isn’t it?” Confused, he turns to peer through the hole.

“No, Norman Bates,” I reply flatly.

“Did you know that in the legendary shower scene, Perkins wasn’t even in the scene—it was his double?”

“I have no idea why you know all of this shit.” And I roll my eyes.

Standing slowly, I conceal myself and take the towel from him. I stare at him for a minute until he gets the hint and leaves, closing the door behind him so I can dry off.

Rev?” I say quietly through the closed door.

“Yes?” he replies immediately, as if he’s never left the other side.

I put my hand on the door as if to reach him. “Will you do something for me?”

“Anything,” he replies softly.

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