Page 110 of Crybaby

Instead, he’s yanked to his feet and cuffs are placed around his wrists. Looks like blowing off your best friend’s head in a room full of people has come back to bite him in the ass.

The door is ripped open, and they toss Carson’s ass into the back seat.

I look over my shoulder at him and do the only thing that feels natural—I burst into hysterical laughter.

“You’ve got a little something on your face,” I say between breaths, looking at his dirt-covered appearance.

“Oh, fuck you.”

“That’s what your mom said…but it was more of anoh, fuck me, Rev, harder…hmm…just like that. Just like that,” I quip, poorly mimicking his mom as I bite my bottom lip theatrically.

But more laughter spills free when I realize that Theresa isn’t his mom, after all.

“Your jokes are lame, cheap, and overused…just like your mom,” Carson says, surprising me because that was pretty good.

But I’ve got an even better joke.

“Well, my mom is your mom…so you just insulted your own momma. Shame on you.”

Carson’s mouth hangs open, and it takes him three seconds to realize what I said. “Motherfucker!”

“That’s what they call me, baby! The best in town.” I sigh, resting my head against the headrest, reminiscing.

Carson shoves me in the shoulder, showing off like the lame all-star footballer that he is, and squashes me hard against the passenger window. My face is mushed against the glass, but it doesn’t quash my laughter.

Maybe we could have gotten along well if we’d grown up together.

“Hey! Knock it off!” demands an officer as he gets into the driver’s seat and revs the engine.

But we don’t listen because, what’s the worst they can do?

Carson and I continue nudging each other because we can’t do jack shit cuffed, but I shift and headbutt him in the nose.

“My bad, I didn’t see you there,” I quip while blood pours from Carson’s nose.

He screams and launches on top of me, biting my neck like fucking Edward fromTwilight.

“Oh my God,” I pant, laughing hard. “Did you justbiteme, you fucking pussy? Did Coach teach you that?”

“Enough!” one of the cops barks, pulling over to the side of the road with a cloud of dust.

Both officers quickly jump out of the car like it’s an emergency and rip open my door, hauling me out. One of them plants his ass in the middle seat next to Carson while the other cop shoves me back into the car on the opposite side, bashing my forehead on the doorframe.

Once buckled up tightly, I lean forward and wink at Carson.

He simply mouths, “Fuck off,” and stares out his window like a sulky little bitch.

The cop jumps back in the driver’s seat, slamming his door closed. We take off with the sirens sounding as the bad guys are driven away. The good people can sleep soundly once more.

Suddenly, I see a flash of blonde zipping through the trees. I don’t know if it was a mirage or my little rabbit.But I close my eyes, knowing I’ll find her again. Even if I have to dig my way out of a goddamn jail cell with a spoon.

All is well again in this fucking town.

But surely, they didn’t think this was the end, did they?

See you soon, fuckers…

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