Page 90 of Crybaby

“Your mother told me everything. I’m sorry—”

I shoulder the duffel and shove past her. “Save your apologies. That time has come and gone.”

“It was for your own good. If you knew—”

“Yes, that’s right.IfI knew, but I didn’t know because no one thought it was important to tell me the truth!”

“That’s not true. Your father, he’s not a good man.”

“Looks like it wasn’t just my looks I inherited from him then,” I snap, hearing June’s drunken sobs of how much I looked likehimon repeat in my head.

I thought this was all bullshit, of course, because I thought I was just a product of a one-night stand my mom never got over.

But I was fucking wrong.

“I’ll get this laundered and mailed back to you.” I hold up the pillowcase and grab Darcie’s forearm. “Let’s go.”

I’m surprised she doesn’t fight me, but she must sense how close I am to losing my shit.

I haul her ass through the house, ignoring the pang of sentiment as I pass each room—this used to be my happy place. Now, it’s just another disappointment.

“Where will you go?”

“Dunno,” I reply, my heavy footsteps in concert with my heavy heart. “I’ll send you a postcard.”

Nonna has never taken my shit, and now is no exception as she races in front of me like an Italian ninja. “I did what I thought was right. I did it to protect you.”

“You know what, I’m sick of hearing that shit. That excuse didn’t stick with June, and it sure as shit doesn’t stick with you. Goodbye, Nonna.”

“Augustine,” she sobs, interlacing her wrinkled hands.

Darcie freezes as it’s the first time she’s heard my name.

“Please don’t leave like this. Stay. We will work something out. It’s dangerous for you to be out there.”

“Don’t you get it?” I implore, my voice breaking as I look into her wise eyes. “It’s dangerous for me everywhere! But most of all, it’s dangerous for me in here.” I point at my temple. “And in here.” I point at my heart.

“No matter where I run to, I can never outrun myself.”

Her lower lip trembles. “You don’t want to know who he is?”

The moment of truth…the truth which has come eighteen years too late.

“No. He can rot in hell, for all I care. I’ll see him there soon enough.”

A tear falls down her cheek, breaking my resolve. But this is for the best. “Ti amo,” she whispers, but it’s too late. If she really did love me, she would have told me the truth.

I don’t bother with a reply and walk to the back door, heart in my throat because I’m a fucking bastard.

Darcie yanks her arm from my grip, but at this stage, I’m starting to think I’m better off alone. I would do anything to protect her, just how Nonna said about me, but I soon see that sometimes, some people don’t need protection.

I leave through the back door without Darcie because if she chooses to stay, that’s her choice.

I make my way back to the truck, jumping over fences and cursing into the heavens. There’s got to be more to life than this, right?

But the universe isn’t talking to me tonight.

I light up a cigarette and lean against the hood, smoking it slowly. I should go, but I know Darcie is coming. She may not want to, but our bond runs too deep to turn away.

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