Page 81 of Crybaby

He couldn’t handle rejection. Not the all-star football jock who gets anyone he wants. I fucking hate him. But hate isn’t a strong enough word for what I feel.

In fact, I hate everyone except Rev. I can’t trust another single soul ever again.

I’m going to make Carson pay, and it’s not just going to be a finger up the ass, either. It’s going to be both his arms and whatever else I can find. I imagine him screaming and begging for mercy. I want to put real tears on that stupid poster boy’s face. Maybe I’ll cut his hair off? Maybe I’ll…

“Penny for your thoughts? Or…ten bucks if you want,” Rev says, pulling a scrunched-up bill from his pocket.

I smile because, just like that, he can make me forget I hate the world.

The motel room is damp and cold. Rev turns on the wall heater, which grunts and groans with the effort, then blows a wave of dust into the room. Warm dust, it’s nice.

“I’m just thinking about Carson. About what he did,” I respond, my eyes just staring into space.“I can’t believe how fucking stupid I was. I actually thought he was trying to help me.”

Rev sighs; it’s a sound of frustration and sadness. “Well, that’s what assholes like him do, they are chameleons. You’re not to blame for any of this—he is, and I have no doubt he’ll be blowing his own dick when you cut it off, set it on fire, and shove it down his throat.”

That visual gets me hot.

“But we need to be smart, my little firecracker. That was too close in the junkyard. We have to be careful.”

“Carson has to pay for what he did.”

Rev cups my cheek in his big hand. “And he will, but we’ve been lucky with the other guys. With Carson, we need to—”

“To what?” I coax, my interest piqued.

“We need to smack him in the mouth and knock him out cold so we can take him far away from here, and you can take your time. This can’t be rushed. That fucker needs to feel every shred of pain. He’s the final one.”

“And then what?” I ask because I haven’t thought that far ahead. Revenge has been my motivator, and everything else has been second best.

Rev mulls over my comment but doesn’t answer. Instead, he takes my black ink-stained hand, guides me into the bathroom, and yanks a cord that turns on a buzzing light. Big hands wrap around my ribs and he lifts me onto the sink and stares at me. His eyes are like glowing embers; the color of gold and hazel all mixed up together. I picture a baby with those eyes, then shake my head.

Rev slips his hands on either side of my face, and before I can breathe, his mouth is on mine. It’s warm and needy against my frozen lips.

I try to talk as he’s kissing me, but he mutters, “Nuh-uh.”

Without breaking our kiss, he reaches out and hits the taps in the shower. We are both pretty filthy, and I can’t wait to get under the water.

Rev rips off his shirt, and he’s covered in old battle wounds. I notice scars on his torso for the first time and touch them cautiously. His eyes follow my fingers, and he exhales as if I’m healing him. Puncture wounds and cigarette burn scars trail along his chest.

“Who did this to you?” I ask, my heart aching.

But he doesn’t want sympathy.

“I did,” he replies, staring into my eyes. “Come on, let’s shower.”

He’s not ashamed of his scars. I think they mean something to him. Badges of honor, maybe? Battles won? A sure sign that he was stronger than whatever tried to beat him, which is no surprise because he is my Superman.

The water is hot, and trying to adjust the temperature is futile because it’s either too hot or too cold. Kind of like me, really. I’m feeling a little crazy right now. Rev doesn’t seem to be fazed by it.

We kiss under the water, and it’s deep and honest. As his tongue searches my mouth, I melt into him. My tough girl guard falling into submission. I grab at his skin and feel his tight arm muscles flex under my touch. Although appearing tall and slim, he’s very built under the layers of black clothing he always wears.

His body covers mine, and the tension between us begins to grow. He wants me as much as I want him.

He grabs my legs and hitches me up to wrap them around his waist. He then pushes my back against the tiles. I lock my heels together behind his back and hang on tight. I can feel his dick teasing me, and I wriggle to find it and bear down.

As he enters me, I begin to see flashes I don’t want to see. Faces that haunt me. I try to shove them aside, but they are taking over. I begin to heave and cry under the water as Rev’s fucking my body. I’m trying so hard to stay right here, but I can’t. They’ve destroyed me. I’m not even alive anymore. That girl who Rev first met died that night, and now, I’m just a sociopathic ghost.

“Look at me, baby.” Rev’s breath is hot against my neck.

---