Page 41 of Crybaby

Always creeping up on me and the last motherfucker I want to see right now. His face is covered in concern, and I wonder if it’s fake.Where was he tonight? Why wasn’t he there?

“Leave me the fuck alone,” I croak.

“What happened to you? Are you okay?” he asks, stepping closer.

“Don’t,” I say, holding my arms out.“Do I look okay to you? What the fuck!” I’m standing there, quite obviously bruised and torn from head to toe, and he’s asking me if I’m okay.

I’m angry, but all my bravado is an act because on the inside, I want to die.

He grabs my shaky hands, and my knees buckle, and then my tears begin to flow. I try everything within my power not to let him see me do this, but it’s like trying to prevent a river from flowing.

“Come here,” he says and gently wraps his big arms around my body and strokes my ratty hair like it’s silk.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay,” he soothes softly.

My face buries within his chest.I’m heaving tears into him that I didn’t know I had left. My mouth is dry and hangs open against the fabric of his shirt. I’m weak, and every muscle in my body begins to shake and fail. My voice is hoarse, and I don’t sound like myself at all. Full of rasps and asthmatic wheezes, I just cry harder as the sounds begin to fail.

Pulling back, I search his face. “Where are they?” I ask with my fists clenched in his shirt.

“They?” he says, gently grabbing my fists to unlock them.

“Those fucking bastards! YOUR friends!” I spit angrily and rip myself away from him and hold myself tight.“Where the fuck are they?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. They disappeared over an hour ago. I’ve been inside all night.” He raises his hands in surrender.

“You need to find them and destroy every one of them! Foss, Buckets, and Blake!” I cry, staring him dead in the eyes. My lips are tight, and I have a frown to end all days.

He takes a moment. And then two before he speaks.

“What did they do?” he snarls and clenches his fists.“Why do you look like this? Did they hurt you? I’ll fucking kill all of them with my bare hands, Darcie.” He searches my face for answers.

Nothing he can do or say will make an iota of difference now. I just need them dead.

“Come to my car. I’ll get you home. You shouldn’t be out here like this.” He puts an arm around my shoulders to guide me forward.

“Home? I can’t go home like this!” I start to yell, and Carson searches our surroundings for any attention we might be getting.

I dig in my heels as the last thing I want to do is go anywhere with him. He’s just one of them. Football jocks who think they own the world and can have any girl they want.

“I’ll take you anywhere you want to go, Darcie. Just come to my car so we can get out of here,” he says, and I do feel like he actually cares. Maybe he’s not like them at all. He said he was different at the bonfire.

I have no transport, no phone, and no money. I have no idea where my purse went. And I’m certainly not walking back into the school gym like this to start a rumor mill about what just happened.

So with no choice, I allow Carson to lead me toward his car. He opens the door for me and helps me inside.

His car smells like cheap aftershave and my feet forage around the floor, looking for a spot to place them amongst the empty beer bottles. Glancing behind me, I see blankets strewn across the back seat like he’s slept there a few times.

“Do you want a blanket?” he asks, reaching for one.

But I shake my head.

I don’t want anything…heavy on top of me.

“All right, let’s get out of here,” he says, and he starts the engine and places a reassuring hand on my leg. I’m shaking under his touch, and I don’t like it.I shift my body away from him until I’m almost smashed up against the passenger door.

“It’s going to be okay,” he assures me and drives slowly out of the parking lot. But it’ll never be okay ever again.

The farther away we drive, the worse I feel. Panic rises in my stomach, and nowhere feels safe anymore. Not out there, not in this car, not in my body. I don’t even feel like this is real. The urge I have to murder those disgusting jocks robs me of air. I can still feel their hands…their fingers…their tongues… I clench my eyes so tightly I feel like my head is going to explode.

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