Page 35 of Crybaby

“I don’t need to calm down! Why don’t you just fuck off! I’m leaving,” I say, scrambling to get to my feet and trying to dust the wet mud off my hands.

Before I have a chance to shift, Blake grabs my face, stunning me into silence and pushes the muddy bottle into my face. It smashes against my teeth and forces my mouth open.

“Thattagirl, drink it all!” hecoos,and I feel my throat choking and closing over against the dirty glass.

I need to run.

Suddenly, I’m the rabbit caught in a trap, and I can see my way out, but I can’t free myself—yet.

Once I do, they won’t catch me because I can run faster than those muscled meatheads with quads too large to be aerodynamic. I’ve spent my life running from fires I’ve started when I’ve spent too long watching them burn shit down before leaving at the last minute to escape the felony.

I clasp the bottle and push back against his force, butI can’tbudge it from my throat.

I can’t breathe as the whiskey fills my throat and runs down the sides of my mouth as I try to reject it.I’m choking and gagging, which I know only creates desire in men like this, but I can’t stop.

I’m drunk, which isn’t helpful either, in the sense that I need to move and my muscles feel like jelly, but at least my sense of pain is hindered enough for me to take this fucked-up “game.”

My body heats up like I’m on fire on this cold, wet night, and I can feel sweat emanating from my hands, chest, and face—fear chemicals that only add to the seduction for predators to feast harder. They live off it and desire it.

My eyes begin darting around, then stop to focus on someone sitting in the shadows of the bleachers. A lit cigarette is sparking with each inhale, and I try to scream out for help.

Blakepulls the bottle out from my throat and crouches down in front of me.

“I like the way you took that bottle. Pity these teeth are in the way.” He reaches into my mouth and begins pulling at my front teeth.

I smack his hands and try to turn my face away, but he slaps me back, laughing and poking at my teeth again while I spit at him.

I’m screaming, I think,but it’s like noise into a pillow with barely any sound. I feel like my vocal cords are damaged, and I’m squeaking like a mouse.

The field is so vast and wide that no one would hear me anyway, even if I could scream. The effort to try is futile.

I need to be smarter than that.

I feel a fist pull my hair at the back of my head, and it’s Buckets. He’s leaning over me from behind, and his head is upside down, looking into my face. He spits into my mouthwhileBlake holds it open.

“She needs some lube,man!Theboozeis drying her out!”

Foss is standing idly,looking around.I can see him watching the guy in the bleachers, and he uncertainly raises his drink as if to say cheers.“All right,come on.Let her go now. It’s not funny,”Foss says as ifhe’snervous.

“Shut the fuck up, you virgin pussy! Get your goddamn dick out,”Blakesnarlsback at him.

He has his hand around my throat. I can hardly make a sound, and I feel as though my body is shifting. Leaving this shell of a green dress to stand by and watch from a distance.

Am I going to die?

I want to die.

But I also want to fight.

“I SAID take your fucking dick out,Foss.I’m not going to ask you again.”Blakestands up and punches Foss square in the face.

His surfer curls tumble back, and I see blood dripping out the corners of his mouth. This fires Foss up, and he stares at his challenger with pureferocityas he rips his belt from his pants.

“You want this,bitch?”Foss says,still staring downBlake.

I try to shake my head, but Buckets grabs my shoulders and shoves me down onto my back.

The lights are blinding me, andIcan hardly see. My eyesroll back into my head, and I’m taken to another place. Out of this body, out of my mind.

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