Page 12 of Corrupted Torment

That moment in the rain, I had made my decision.

I knew his life had become mine to keep safe. He had needed me, and I had let him down. It was unforgivable, but I would have to gain his trust back once more.

I keep my pursuit of him swift and agile, never faltering as I move through the thickening bramble of thorny shrubs. Determination pushes me onward as I hear his little startled yelps of pain. I know the pricks of discomfort from the thorns are causing this sweet boy much more bother than they are to me.

He comes to a stop, surrounded by towering vines covered in spindly bristles. With nowhere to go, and I slow, edging ever closer. He spins, eyes widening as he sees me.

“I’m so sorry, Dario. I didn’t remember.”

Like the proverbial lion with a thorn in its paw, Dario whimpers, backing away further from me. I can’t blame him. I raise my hands, trying to ease his fear. His eyes flick behind me and around the enclosed space. Seeing he has no escape, he deflates, defeated. I hate that look in his eyes and almost want to give him the space to run once more. I can’t; won’t do that.

“Dario, I need you to listen to me,” I try to ease him with soft words. His green eyes glance up at mine before looking back down at his muddy feet. I sigh. “Dario, the injection that man gave me made me really sick, right?” I continue, willing him to understand. His eyes still down, he nods his reply.

“You helped me through that, and I’m so incredibly grateful to you. What I need you to understand is when I first woke up. When I first saw you again...” I say, looking away from him. The words are almost too hard to speak as I go over what it had cost him to trust me after what he had been through. Only to have it thrown back in his face. As I look back at Dario, his green eyes are back on mine. Watching me intently and I realise I only have this one chance to make things right.

“When I first saw you again, I thought you were a stranger. Of all the mental things, I thought it was you taking advantage of me, stealing my belongings and maybe even trying to kill me. It’s so stupid, but I didn’t remember you. Whatever the drugs did to me, it was more than just the virus. Hell, maybe the virus made me insane. Either way, I’m just so sorry.”

I close my eyes and sigh, my hand going to the back of my head, mussing my hair up in agitation. I’m so out of sorts right now. Unable to process the deep-seated irrational anger and loathing for my unwarranted behaviour. Yet, I’m so desperate for his forgiveness.

Rationally, I know it hadn’t been my fault. I need him to know it wasn’t my fault and I hope that I have shown that it is not my usual behaviour. Not that he makes me act so normally, bringing out that protective instinct inside of me.

I feel so different.

So unlike myself that when his laughter breaks out, I don’t know if I should laugh right along with his crazy arse or bawl my eyes out. Does he feel that way too?

I choose to laugh.

CHAPTER5

NIXI

Age Twelve

I know what is happening to me, yet I don’t know if I am really here at all. I can feel the violation of my body with each unwanted thrust. The screams of my own agony echoes around, but as I float above myself, watching this happen to me, I start to wonder.

Is that even me?

I stare down at the scene in disbelief. There is a connection between my body below and my current spirit-like state, but I’m confused. I don’t understand. Two separate entities, but just one in control. Fractured. Mind fighting and body frozen, I try to get my body to fight back against the man who lies atop of me, but I can’t. Weak swipes of my hands are not enough to do a thing, my legs remaining paralysed in the dry dirt beneath me.

It has only been minutes since the siren's shrill tone stopped. This man pounced quickly. His body is so much larger than my own; easily overcoming my small stature. It didn’t take long for my screams to sound along with the other women’s as I struggled.

I feel dirty, used, and degraded as he pins me down with his crushing weight by the dying glow of the campfire. He roughly fondles and tweaks my breasts through the dirty white material of my dress. Moving his large, calloused hands roughly across my bare hips and arse, lifting the hem of my dress without care for my dignity. My body is his plaything for the night. He cares nothing for my happiness and enjoys painting my skin with bruising marks.

As I beg and plead pitifully, asking for mercy, he laughs. This black-eyed demon only takes pleasure in my misery. His laughter scares me, and I cower further into the mud, twisting my head away from this beast. I’m weak, helpless and completely powerless. Not even my bitten nails scratching into him can do any damage as he howls his enjoyment into the night sky.

I don’t know if my mind has become disjointed. I’m looking away, but I can still observe from above, still witness each thrusting movement of his body as he pushes inside of mine. Is this a dream or perhaps my trauma’s messed up way of protecting my mind?

Or maybe it has something to do with the needle he plunged into my neck moments before he pushed me down. Am I just high right now? There were a couple of older foster kids’ back home that were always out of their heads on something.

I am both here and there; I don’t know which is worse. I close my eyes; two pairs close, one physical set and one phantom. I am mildly more orientated, but it doesn’t stop the fear of what is happening to me as he takes away my innocence.

Gripping my hair tightly in his fist, he lifts me painfully upwards, changing the angle of his penetrations. Hitting a spot deeper within me, I shriek out a painful cry, my head flinging back, shock ripping strands of my hair from my scalp.

Tears dampen my cheeks and the wet lick of his tongue slides over my skin, consuming my misery. I scrunch my eyes closed even tighter, unwilling to watch the monster both above me and below me. Unable to let myself witness his satisfaction as he takes more from me.

He’s barely a man, an older teenager perhaps, but that doesn’t sway his cruelties as his hips slap harder against me. I don’t understand what could make him think this is right. Shadows of men in the darkness creep into our rundown shacks, followed by the screams of the girls.

As he ruts into me like an animal possessed, there’s a snap within me. My being zaps wholly above, as my physical body can no longer take the punishing force it’s being made to take.

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