Page 93 of Muskoka Blue

Probably. It would give her time to rein in these wild emotions and consider just how best to share this latest piece of awesome information about her past.

“Come on. I’ll walk you in.”

They exited and he grabbed her hand and walked her inside. They were getting to know John’s parents pretty well with these visits, John’s dad proving to be as big a Leafs fan as his son.

Sarah watched the conversation, answering automatically when Ange asked how she’d enjoyed Thanksgiving with the Waltons. But her heart and mind kept twisting, turning, trying to figure out what to do. Tell Dan she couldn’t have kids? Let things slide a while longer until she knew whether this relationship would last? What was best for Dan?

On the car trip back to Muskoka with John and Ange, she pleaded exhaustion from a big day and closed her eyes, still thinking, thinking, thinking. Later, in her room, she found Stephen’s ring and tried it on, wondering if placing it back on her ring finger would spark any sense as to what to do. It didn’t. It was just another piece of jewelry now.

What should she do? Had she missed her opportunity to be honest today? She wouldn’t see him for weeks now, and this wasn’t exactly a conversation she could have over the phone. God, give me wisdom. Help me do what will be for Dan’s best.

And with that prayer on her heart and lips, she slept.

Chapter 22

The next weeks flew in a haze of flights, games, bus trips, training, flights, training, and more games. Dan had found a new energy, his time with Sarah at Thanksgiving only solidifying his cause, prayer and reading God’s word further reinforcing this. Two were better than one, and now that he’d found the other person he wanted as part of his two, he couldn’t wait to make it come true. This had necessitated a special trip, when the team had been in New York, for something that he hoped she might like to wear this Christmas. That wasn’t too soon, was it? Then maybe she’d feel like she didn’t have to leave in the new year, and she could stay forever in his house she’d said was like coming home.

Home. He could just imagine it: Sarah’s vivacity lighting his world, welcoming him back after a road trip. Kids, a dog, the whole package. He smiled.

“Yo, Dizzy, what’s got you smiling, man?” Matt Reynolds, star forward for the team, snapped a towel at him. “You got a lady friend?”

“Didn’t know you knew any women,” Marc Valesky, the Leafs’ number one goalie, grinned from his dressing room stall.

Brendan Jordansen, Dan’s fellow rookie defenseman from Pittsburgh days and probably his closest friend on the team, raised his brows. “You got a girl?”

“Yeah.”

“Nice! It’s been a while. Wow, not since that chick from Pittsburgh, remember?”

His stomach squeezed. Oh, he remembered.

“What was her name again? Lisa? Lana? A hot tamale?”

Yep, that’s what he’d thought back then too. Stupid him. Thank God for His forgiveness and grace.

Later, as the team bus drove back through LA traffic to the team hotel, memories of his younger exploits kept bobbing to the surface, like lake mud swirling through clear water. What would Sarah say if she knew about his past? Should he tell her? God might have forgiven him, but would Sarah—innocent, loved-Jesus-since-a-child Sarah—be so gracious? He wasn’t sure.

The thought she would reject him kept his mouth closed when they next Skyped, a too-quick call due to his miscalculation of time zones, giving him a glimpse of the challenge of a truly long-distance relationship should she return Down Under. But would she even want to stay in contact with him if she knew the whole shameful story?

* * *

“Dan? Are you okay?”He seemed tired tonight, or worried, a little crease in his brow.

“I’m fine. The Kings are tough to play at home.”

Sarah nodded like she knew which team he meant. She thought the Kings were based in Los Angeles. Or was that the Ducks? Or was she getting confused with a kids’ movie?

“So, Sar, tell me what’s happening with you.”

“Did I mention my parents are coming for Christmas? They got an excellent deal and booked to come visit in mid-December and stay for Christmas. It’s their first trip to Canada in thirty years. They’re so excited!”

Dan’s eyes crinkled. “Did you learn excitement from them?”

“Why, Daniel, whatever do you mean? No, this”—she gestured to herself—“is all me.”

He grinned at her, and her heart scampered. This evening’s Skype call would have to end soon—he’d called too late and it was past midnight here in Muskoka—but she was grateful for the distance that allowed more time to sift her thoughts and emotions. Things could be hidden behind a screen that couldn’t be hidden in real life. And she still hadn’t really figured out how to introduce the topic that haunted her future. Despite near-constant prayers, she remained unsure, the churn in her heart blocking any real certainty save the sense she should speak with him. Soon. And in person.

“Sar?”

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