Page 61 of Ghost on the Shore

“What do you mean?”

“Hmm...What do you want?”

And I know what she’s asking me, but I’m not sure how much I want to reveal. Grace isn’t the stereotype people like to draw of women in their mid-thirties. She’s obviously not desperate to get married, and looking down at my plate, I get the feeling that she’d rather ride a camel around Marrakech than settle down in a house like mine—picket fence all that goes with it.

“What do I want?” I sit on the question. “I’m pretty simple. And I have most of the things I’ve always wanted. My job makes me happy, I have friends I enjoy spending time with, I have a house...” I study her face for a moment, wondering if I should go there. Fuck it. She asked so I’m going to answer. If she doesn’t like the answer, it’s better to know where she stands now before I go setting myself up for a let-down. “My house feels empty, though. Like it’s waiting for me to fill it up or something.”

“With a houseful of kids?”

I shake my head and laugh, even though I’m thinking something along the lines of:One or two kids would do.“At this point, I’d settle for a woman.”

“Your last woman wasn’t on board with your life plan?”

I shrug because I have no idea what Ava was on board with. All I know is that she was not the one.

“I actually dated her back in high school. Our families are close, parents are good friends and all that. It was nothing serious. We went to the prom together and then that was it. I left for college, was away for the better part of a decade. We didn’t reconnect until last year. Ava was divorced from her husband by that time and, I don’t know, she’s always been around.” I laugh, knowing how ridiculous I sound. “That’s obviously not a good reason to start a relationship with someone.”

“Agreed.”

She tops our glasses off, leaving the bottle empty.

“My parents used to call an empty wine bottle a dead soldier.”

Grace winces. “That’s a terrible saying.”

“They stopped once I signed on for Annapolis.”

“I’ll bet. What made you choose the Naval Academy?”

“My grandfather was a Marine and he was a big influence in my life.”

“Your father, too?”

“No. He didn’t serve. I think my grandfather judged him for that, and maybe I did too for a while there. I ate up everything my grandfather told me about battle and sacrifice and all that.”

“It is a huge sacrifice.”

“But it’s a choice. No one forces you anymore. And I don’t judge people one way or the other. That life isn’t for everyone.”

“Would you do it all over again?”

I don’t have to think about it before answering, “Absolutely. I don’t have any regrets.” I smile, adding, “Maybe I would have taken a different route that last day. You know, avoided that bomb planted along the roadside. But other than that...”

Grace’s eyes sparkle when she laughs. Add that to the long list of things I like about her.

“Have you always had a sense of humor about what happened to you?” She asks as I get up to clear the table. “Leave those in the sink. I’ll get them later,” she tells me as I start to run the water.

“Nope. You cooked, I clean.”

She moves in close, drops the utensils into the soapy water and then teases, “Sucks for you then...No dishwasher in this dump.”

I hip check her snarky ass. “I’ll manage. And to answer your question, I’ve always at least tried to have a sense of humor about it. A lot of men came back worse off than I did.”

“Or didn’t come back at all,” she whispers.

“Exactly.”

I turn around when she doesn’t say anything more. She looks lost in thought as she’s uncorking another bottle of wine.

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