Page 32 of Your Hand in Mine

“I’m not itching to be out and about just yet. It’s been nice with just me and Garth and the baby holed up together. Grandy’s visits make me want to tear my hair out sometimes, but she means well.”

“I can’t believe that nut chose to be called Grandy because it rhymes with her favorite cocktail.”

We both laugh, but I seriously do think Garth’s mom is a little touched in the head, and I’m not too keen on the idea of her caring for my little James.

“Aw, she’s all right.” I roll my eyes because my sister is just too damn nice sometimes. “I mean, she’s not Mom, but she loves James more than anything. And I know I already thanked you for staying those first couple of days after I got home, but really, you were a lifesaver. I was a hormonal mess for a while there.”

“Yeah, I miss Mom.” I have to wipe at a stray tear when I look down at James sleeping peacefully. “She would have adored him.”

“Dad, too.”

I nod in agreement, still unable to talk about him in a positive way even though I can totally see my father sitting in his recliner with James in his arms, loving him as much as I do.

Sienna laughs. “Mom would absolutely freak if she saw the way Grandy burps James. I basically won’t let her hold him after his feedings now because I’m afraid she’ll give him shaken baby syndrome.”

I can’t help but laugh when Sienna puffs out her cheeks imitating her mother-in-law, pounding on her own chest like it’s James’s back.

“No making fun of my momma,” Garth teases when he comes into the room.

“I love your mom, you know that. I just wish she wouldn’t handle him the way she does. She’s a tough old broad.”

Garth lets out a loud, long belch himself and then says, “I turned out just fine.”

I whisper, “Gross, Garth,” because that disgusting noise has roused the baby.

Sienna muffles a laugh and whispers as she points to her husband, “I’m blaming Grandy and her violent burping methods for that.”

“He’s a man…Gotta learn to burp like a man.”

I shake my head and smile. “I am sooo happy that I’m single right now.”

Sienna settles in next to me and I hand James over when he opens his eyes. He usually wants some one-on-one time with my sister’s boob as soon as he wakes up.

“Did he just smile at you?”

“Yes you did, didn’t you?” Sienna coos as she gently rubs her finger across his chin.

“I mean, I’ve seen him do it before but that looked like a real genuine smile.”

Garth says, “I think before it was just gas or something, but yeah, he smiles whenever he hears one of our voices now. Sienna more than me because, you know, she’s got the milk.” Moving in closer he whispers as he touches his hand to James’s head. “I get it, little man. Mommy’s got the best ta-tas in town.”

I tease, “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“As you should.” He’s still looking at his wife and child as he says it, and I find myself staring too as Sienna lifts her shirt and shifts the stretchy material of her nursing bra down. James latches onto her, taking long pulls and looking so very content.

I swallow to stem the tide of sadness that’s taking hold. Why on earth am I sad? As much as I love James, I don’t want a baby now. It’s just human instinct, I tell myself. Ridiculous emotions stirred by evolution and Mother Nature herself. Shaking it off, I focus on mother and child again. Itisamazing. It’s like us women were made perfectly, with everything we need to nurture life just built right in.

“Amazing,” I murmur.

“Amazing and hot as eff.”

“As eff? Seriously? Donotbe saying that kind of stuff around my nephew. He’ll know what it means by the time he’s two and you’ll be getting him kicked out of preschool.”

Garth raises his eyebrows in fear. “Point taken.”

And at the mention of preschool, my mind goes back to Olivia. She’s been itching to meet James, the poor little thing, but with the whole germ situation I know it’s best to wait a few weeks.

“Are you sure it’s all right to bring Olivia next week? I mean, I’ll wash her hands like she’s prepping for surgery and I’ll cancel if she’s so much as sniffling, but I’d totally understand if you don’t want anyone unfamiliar around him yet.”

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