Page 121 of Protector Daddy

Instead of saying hello, he called back to whom I assumed was his wife. “The missing boyfriend has arrived. Guess he’s not avoiding you, after all, Liz.”

I cleared my throat. We’d officially waited too long to set up this meet and greet. “Hi, Mr. McNeill. I’m definitely not avoiding anyone.”

Liz appeared beside him, though I wasn’t comfortable calling her anything but Mrs. McNeill. “So you decided to show yourself after impregnating my daughter without so much as a ‘How do you do’ to her parents first.” She crossed her arms, and I could totally imagine her wearing body armor despite her flowing purple peasant blouse. Authority practically wafted from her pores.

“I’m supposed to introduce myself to you before I sleep with Honey?”

“Well, it’d be nice,” she snapped. “I helped you with melons in the store once. Don’t think that means we have a relationship. You haven’t answered a single one of the questions.”

“The questions?”

“Yes, the vetting questions. Not that it matters now, since my innocent daughter is now bearing your offspring.”

There were several different ways I could have responded, but the one that I chose was not ideal. “She’s not that innocent,” I muttered.

“How dare you!”

“I don’t dare, I really do not. I didn’t mean that in a bad way. I love your daughter, and she’s happy about the baby. We both are. Though it’s supposed to still be a secret, so how did you find out?”

Her face flushed deeply red. “Don’t you worry about that, Officer Masterson. My network knows no bounds.”

“Uh, I’m sure but you realize she’s going to be twenty-five next year, right?”

Again, not the right answer. I was nailing this already, and I hadn’t even been asked one of thevetting questionsyet.

“When you’ve born threebeautifulchildren out of your vagina, you’re welcome to question my parenting skills. Until then, STFU.” The door slammed in my face, the cheerful Santa door knocker shivering in the sudden wind.

Dear God. Even my worst imaginings hadn’t come close to the reality. Why didn’t Honey mention to me that her mother was likethis?She’d certainly seemed to be in no hurry to bring me home to meet them, but still.

Taking a deep breath, I used Santa to knock on the door again.

After a moment, Honey’s father leaned out, his joint still hanging precipitously from his mouth. “She doesn’t like you.”

“We just got off on the wrong foot. If she got to know me, she’d realize that I’m totally devoted to Honey and the baby. I want to marry her.”

Mr. McNeill inhaled, nodding sagely. “Keep going.”

“I just wanted to talk to you both, make sure you guys were comfortable with me asking for her hand.”

“I don’t think she is.”

“And you?”

He shrugged. “Honey is a strong-willed, smart girl. She knows what—and who—she wants. If she doesn’t want to marry you, she’ll just say no. But I don’t feel like it’s my place to harsh her buzz.” He took another hit and then cocked his head and slowly blew out a stream of hazy smoke. “If Liz doesn’t want you to marry Honey, then what?”

I crossed my arms. “Then I ask her anyway, because I love her and love our baby and I’m going to spend my life making her happy. No parent can begrudge me that.” I looked around as it started to snow. “Hell, I’m standing out here in the freezing cold just for the chance to convince your wife I’m right for her daughter. I’m committed to this.”

The door flew open, and Mrs. McNeill appeared beside her husband. “Do you really think that’s enough? How do you plan to support her?”

“I’m a cop,” I said slowly. “I have a nice pension, 401K, savings. My home is appreciating every month. I’m comfortable and she will be too, whether or not she chooses to work.”

“And what about that? Do you insist on her working?”

“I don’t insist on anything. Whatever she chooses to do, we will figure it out. I just want her to be happy. Period. Look, I just want to come in and discuss this like rational people—”

“No need.” The door opened wider and she flew out onto the stoop to give me a hard hug that nearly dislodged several ribs. “You passed the vetting. Though thank God, she knows how to cook. You can’t even choose the right melon.”

Carefully, I hugged her back. I felt as if someone with a camera would pop out of the bushes at any moment. “I really passed?”

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