Earlier, he'd been withdrawn, even melancholic.
Now, he just seemed sad. Resigned.
Paige felt a heaviness in her heart as she watched Razim walking slowly. He seemed to be heading in the direction of the outdoor folly which was situated out near the wall surrounding the palace. She recalled that she'd spent time there with him. The folly was a large, decorative round structure, built in traditional Qazhar style. It was a place of retreat and reflection. A place to spend some time on cool evenings, just like this, she told herself.
An idea flickered into Paige's mind, but she instantly dismissed it.
Too dangerous, she told herself. Ever since she'd returned to Qazhar all she'd tried to do was stay away from Razim. Being in close proximity to him was just going to cause problems for them both, she told herself.
She saw him briefly, just before he disappeared into the darkness.
Something in her shifted. Inexplicably, she felt a change of heart take over her.
Maybe this time, he needed her, she told herself. It wouldn't do any harm to be with him on this, their last night.
She headed out of the room, down the stairs and was soon striding on her flat shoes across the garden lawn. Sprinklers covered her white dress with a thin layer of dampness. It helped her feel cool as she made her way in the direction in which she'd last seen him.
Her heart was beating fast and her mind was a whirl of conflicting thoughts. It was still not too late to change her mind, she told herself. About what? Seeing him now? Or going through with the divorce tomorrow. She pushed the answer to that question firmly out of her mind.
Finally, she reached the folly. It was a about six meters in width, a tall, marble structure, decorated around the roof edges with carved details. Pillars of marble created an open space inside which was constructed a cushioned seating area.
She saw Razim.
Paige froze. She held her breath. The beating of her heart was even more fearsome. This was her last chance to change her mind. She knew she was trying to be helpful to him. He'd saved her earlier, and part of her wanted to help him in return. He was dressed in a plain white shirt and dark pants.
She took a step closer. As if sensing her presence, Razim turned and looked at her. There was a familiar dark look on his features. It was a look she had once been used to seeing. It was the expression he wore when he was deeply troubled.
Razim stood. "Paige," he said. His voice was heavy.
Paige took a few steps and halted at the entrance to the folly. "I saw you out walking on your own," she said. She shrugged. "I thought you might need some company."
He smiled and advanced toward her. "You're right," he murmured.
Paige stepped up, realizing that she was crossing a threshold. Razim's features brightened. He gestured to the curved and cushioned seat which ringed the interior space of the folly. "Have a seat," he said.
Paige sat down and wrapped her arms around herself. "You looked like you were thinking," she said.
Razim sat down, far enough away to signal to her that he understood she might be concerned about being here, alone, with him. "I like coming out here at night. I get a chance to clear my mind." He smiled at her. "And tonight is a night I really need to clear my mind."
Paige nodded, but didn't say anything.
For a few long moments they gazed out toward the garden and the distant wall. All that protected them from the desert harshness was that wall, she reminded herself. In the past, whenever they'd argued, Razim had often raced off into the desert on horseback. Even at night, if the mood had seized him.
Paige glanced at Razim. She could see the tension in his shoulders, the tightness in his jaw, the dark expression in his gaze. She'd seen him like this many times before.
In so many ways, he was a creature of the wild, a desert chieftain, cooped up in a palace. Many times he'd told her of his dream of living in the desert. Of being truly free. Maybe the responsibilities of being the eldest son and the head of the family were weighing too heavily on his shoulders.
Was she just adding to his suffering? If she was so determined to end the marriage, would she feel guilty about causing him even more pain?
She hoped not. But, right now, looking at him, she couldn't remember ever having seen him so troubled. So tortured. Was this what separation would mean to him?
All of a sudden, her own doubts seemed trivial compared to his obvious pain.
Instinctively, she slid closer to him. He glanced at her, taking note of her movement. She was sure she saw his eyes narrow slightly.
Paige's breathing felt suddenly shallow, her heartbeat quickening by the second. She knew what she was doing was perilous. Razim was like a caged animal, a coiled serpent ready to strike. So why was she offering herself up like this? What was drawing her nearer to him?
Suddenly he spoke, and his voice was a low growl. "Are you sure?" he asked. His brows furrowed.