I burst out laughing for the first time all morning.
"I might die too, El. Don't worry, we'll be fine no matter what happens. Okay?"
She nods.
There's a knock on the door.
"Sweetheart, are you ready to go?"
I stand and walk up to Mom. Her glasses keep falling off her nose. I tower over her petite frame and wrap her in my arms. Her teardrops on my shoulder, and my heart sinks. This is difficult. I wish I could tell her. The words claw at my throat and I swallow. She tears away from my arms and looks into my face the way she used to when she sent me off to school as a kid. She'd look over my hair, check. Face, check. Outfit, check. Eyes, check. I found it weird that she always peered into my eyes before sending me off. Once I asked why she did that, she gave a profound quote instead:
"The eyes are the windows to the soul."
She peers into my eyes now, and I wear my brightest smile. Is my fear well-hidden?
"You'll be alright without me?"
"I should be asking you that." She playfully punches my shoulder and draws me into her arms.
"I'll miss you. I hope you find a big world waiting for you, Fifi."
My phone vibrates. Mom peeks into my phone screen.
"Who's that?"
"My uhhh… my Uber driver. He must be here now."
I walk to my bags, pick them up and walk out of my room into the lobby. Mom and El are behind me. In the living room, Dad's standing at the door. His eyes soften when he sees me. He lifts his arms, gesturing for me to come into them. A tear drops as the strong arms that have held me since childhood hold me one last time.
"Don't cry. We’ll be here when you get back. Okay?"
I nod, wiping my nostrils. I look over from Dad to Mom to El. Mom's eyes are dry. She likes to be strong, but when I leave, she'll cry a river.
"Bye, guys."
With that, I walk out the door, out of safety, out to a world of uncertainty.
My phone vibrates again.
"I'm a block away, in front of the brown house on the left."
"Okay. I'm coming."
Thankful I packed light, I pull my suitcase in one hand and hold tight onto my small bag in the other. When I arrive, his face is drawn up in a scowl. I ignore it, place my bags in the trunk, and sit in front.
"What took you so long? I told you I was ten minutes away."
"Don't even start. You're not the one who's leaving your parents and lying to them on top of it. I'm not in the mood."
He opens his mouth but shuts it as if deciding to choose peace. The drive to his house is quiet, but the tension in the air is thick. Neither of us knows how this arrangement is going to turn out. I bite my tongue gently, watching people walk or drive past. We drive into what I'd call a street for the elite. It’s unlike all the other streets in LA. My mouth stays open as I take in the mansions, the cars, and the trees.
"Almost there. Ours is the white house two blocks away, but you can see it from here."
I lift my eyes to find the house he's talking about, and as we approach it, my mouth drops. I've always heard of Mediterranean houses but have never seen one in real life. The white building towers in the neighborhood, covered partially by palm trees fight for prominence. A soft wind blows on the trees as we drive in, and I look up, mesmerized. Six palm trees flank each side of the building, three on each side. A separate car garage sits opposite the house, where we drive into. There are three other cars here, and I don't know as much about cars, but I'd recognize an Audi anywhere. In the middle of the expanse, there's a small water fountain with slabs around it for sitting. A small dog kernel sits on the left of the house. It looks like a house, only smaller and simpler. A bark fills the compound from the kernel, and the head of a black dog peeks out.
"Awww, a German Shepard, right?"
He's silent as he works to take my bags out of the trunk. My heart tightens as Moon's barks ring in my ears. I miss him so much already.