Her voice breaks. I look up into her face.
"It's okay, Mom. I'm sorry I lied."
She brings her thumbs to my face, wiping my tears.
"You're going to make me cry if you keep sobbing like that."
I giggle even though it ends up sounding like a sob. Sniffling, I break away from the embrace and straighten.
She looks over at my baby bump and brings her hand slowly toward it. She pauses.
"May I?"
I nod, taking her hand and placing it on my tummy. She inhales and rubs it all over, a gasp leaving her lips.
"It's so big. When I had you, my tummy wasn'tthisbig."
"I know, right?"
"I'm going to have a lovely grandchild,” she says mostly to herself, giggling.
"Do your joints ache?"
"All the time. It's like I can't even catch a break. Plus, the baby's also starting to move."
"Do you know its gender yet?"
"Nah, we chose to find out at birth."
Mom's nose wrinkles.
"You modern kids keep ruining the tradition. We always found out a baby's gender as soon as possible so we could have a gender reveal and buy lots of boy or girl clothes." She tilts her head. "Did you already get any clothes for the baby?"
Bertha did. But now that I've left…
I sigh. She also got everything else, from diapers to bottles and others. She even got this cute brown baby stroller. Bertha was definitely on a buying spree.
"Yeah, but…" I shift on the bed. "we might have to get new ones."
"What? You're not going to get in touch with the baby's father ever?"
I lower my eyes. I miss Jason and a deep longing forms in my heart as I think about him. No. It's all in the past now.
"I don't know, Mom."
Mom shuffles closer, taking my hand.
"I don't think it's a good idea to try to raise the baby alone, especially when you know the father, he's willing to do it and he's wealthy enough. Raising a kid is a lot, Fifi. But if you already made up your mind, then Dad and I will support you."
"Jeez, Mom. You can't do that. You still have the loan hanging over your heads."
"Yes, we can. We'll do everything to help."
I shake my head. That's not going to happen. Maybe Mom's right. Maybe I should contact Jason again and raise the baby together. But the initial agreement was that I'd leave the baby behind. My stomach churns. I can’t do that anymore. I can't just abandon my child in that house.
Two more months to go.
Mom stands to her feet.