“I…we —”
“You’ll have to be quick. I have to get to work in forty minutes.”
His hair is put together, not a strand out of place. How’s that possible very early in the morning?
“Hello?” He waves his hand over my face.
“I wanted to talk about what happened yesterday.”
His gaze flickers and he looks down, as if searching for something.
“Okay?” He finally says.
He folds his arms, leaning on the door rim. I try as hard as I can to prevent my gaze from falling on his body, but it becomes difficult as he leans with his arms crossed. The sweat drips with slow intention, running down his chin and his chest. It’s the first time I get to see his finely sculpted muscles, especially the abs that make him look like the god of war. I clear my throat, but he speaks first.
“If I may ask, what exactly happened yesterday?”
My jaw drops.
“We were together. We—”
“Yes, I get it. And I’m sorry I let that happen. I lost control. It won’t happen again, I promise.”
I bow my head, fighting back tears, realizing that this was not the outcome I had hoped for. But then again, what was I expecting? I chide myself for my naivety. Before I can even gather my thoughts, Jason abruptly shuts the door. My breath catches in my throat, and I take a deep breath before turning to leave. As soon as I step into my room, my phone buzzes. It's mom.
I wipe my eyes before taking the call.
“Mom!” I say, in my most excited pretend voice. It still comes off a little shrill. I hope she doesn’t notice.
“Hey, Fifi! How are you?”
“I’m…I’m okay. I’m getting ready for classes today.”
“Aww. I miss you. Made any new friends yet?”
“Uhh..yes. Two actually. Bertha and Richard. They’ve been super helpful to me.”
I facepalm my forehead quietly. Richard and Bertha? I groan. This is just silly.
“What’s wrong?”
“Uhh, nothing. I didn’t sleep well last night. I was trying to catch up with some schoolwork that I’ve been behind on. Hey, how’s dad?”
“He’s alright. I think he misses you more than I do.”
“I miss you guys too.”
Tears well up as the words leave my mouth. I miss them so much. I miss the safety I felt having them around. I miss not having to lie or hide things from them.
“Did Eleanor tell you about her promotion? She’s now the manager at that deli. What’s the name again?”
“Rudolph’s?”
“Bingo. She didn’t tell you?”
I’ve been so caught up with my life that I haven't bothered to check on her. My heart clenches from guilt. There are actual people who love me. I should focus on them and ignore the ones who don’t give a hoot.
“We haven’t talked in a while. In between classes and work, there’s little phone call time. I should call her anyway. I think I’ll do so today.”