Page 98 of Paid to the Pirate

How it made me feel… confusing things.

God, how I hated him. I could do it. My grip tightened on the handle.

Kill him.

Colt suddenly moaned and my stomach dropped. The world spun as his eyes fluttered open and locked on me. The terror I felt in that moment nearly made me swoon.

Oh god, my plan’s over. Before it even began.

“Charlotte,” Colt rasped, eyes unfocused.

He’d never called me by my name before.Did he not see the blade?

“Do you know how I love you?” Colt murmured.

My mouth fell and my heart gave a curious, achy beat against my ribcage.

For several moments I stood frozen in fear and immobilized by confusion.

Love me?

Insanity. It must have been the sickness talking.

“Can you ever forgive me for killing your father?” Colt mumbled, gaze unfocused in his fever-state.

No,I wanted to shout,I hate you so much.

But as angry tears sprung to my eyes, Colt closed his, returning to a fitful slumber.

For another few heartbeats, I remained still. Colt had never admitted any guilt in the murder of my father before and he’d certainly never asked forgiveness. The tiniest voice in my head said things I didn’t want to hear. Things like,what happened wasn’t entirely Colt’s fault.But the voice was small enough that I was able to squash it.

Yet a worse voice took its place. Not quite forming words, but feelings. Horrid feelings to consider, like a ridiculous disappointment that Colt didn’t fully awaken, see what I was doing, and punish me for it.

Move, Charlotte,I commanded myself, shaking my head.You’re wasting time.

Rushing to Colt’s chest of drawers and tossing aside his clothing, I grabbed his bag o’ bits. There was enough gold in that purse to start a new life, one without beastly pirate captains trying to spank me.

With large, hard hands over strong, ample thighs.

I strapped the gold to my belt.

Thinner than his thick, supple leather.

Quietly, I crept to the cabin door.

With luck, while I sailed away, Colt and his crew would be too busy searching for the Crimson Eye to follow me. Whenever he next careened, he’d certainly scour and scrub the ship from top to bottom, including his mattress, as always. If he hadn’t located the gem by that point, he most certainly would once the crew began their unusually thorough cleaning.

As much as I wanted to see Colt at the bottom of the ocean, I would never rob Conks or Johnson or Miguel of their future -- a future that could be purchased with that stunning gem. And Colt knew it.

The captain and his bag o’ bits, however… well, that was payment owed for everything he’d done to me.

My heart pounded in my ears as I made my way above deck with the gold, a sack of food, and a canteen of water. The moon broke through the rain clouds and I was thankful because, without the ship’s torchlights, the world would have been utter darkness. Sick below deck, either no one had bothered to light them or they’d been put out by the rain.

I crossed the wet and slippery deck and headed straight for the jolly boat. I began pulling the ropes, alternating between fore and aft. It would be tricky without assistance, but I needed to lower the boat into the sea and jump. Then, safely aboard, I could cut the ropes and sail away to freedom.

I’d managed about halfway when the ropes stuck.

“Dammit,” I cursed, wiping rain from my sweaty brow. I peered overboard to see the boat dangling about halfway to the sea. But no matter how hard I pulled, I couldn’t muster the strength to free the ropes. I needed more muscle.

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