Page 19 of Paid to the Pirate

“I – it’s been a long time since we’ve talked,” I said, unsure how much of my supposed lady act I wanted to drop around these two men. But I needed to gleansomeinformation, otherwise I’d be lost, and that could leave Colt with a massive advantage if he ever saw through me.

“Aye, and I’ve so missed our chats,” Johnson replied with a twinkle in his eye.

“Are you as angry with me as your captain, for my supposed crimes?” I tried.

What crimes,I wanted to ask.What is it he thinks that I’ve done?

“We’re glad you’re alive, first. And we’re disappointed you ran off without saying goodbye or explaining your actions, second,” Johnson said with a sad, kind smile. “You know we’d have understood. But we know you had your reasons. Just like we know you have your reasons for whatever it is you’re doing right now.”

We. He continually saidwe.Were Conks and Johnson… together? In the Penningham’s tavern, I’d heard stories of such partnerships as common amongst pirates, but I hadn’t known any couples to speak openly in our small settlement.

Johnson had replied with genuine vulnerability and care. I couldn’t help but whisper, “I’m sorry to have let you down.”

“’S’alright,” Conks chimed in. “These things have a way of working out, in the end. Though I dare say the captain’s gonna make your end pay for it, until you tell him the truth. I’ll keep a bottle of my special tonic on hand for the mornings.”

I couldn’t have turned any redder. The fact that Colt planned to punish me, intimately, was horrid enough. Having it whispered about by the crew was utterly humiliating. Probably to Colt’s delight.

I’d planned on probing for more information, but instead I stammered, “I – uh, better get dressed now.”

After being left alone and changing into the clothing provided, I made my way above deck to take in the salt air. It was a bright, beautiful day, with only hints of clouds dotting the sky. Men bustled at their work stations or lazed about chatting through breaks.

My appearance immediately drew attention and I could see the mixed reaction in the crew’s eyes. Some men regarded me with suspicion and anger, some with relief and pity, and others with small-but-welcoming smiles, half-hidden beneath tipped hats.

Sometimes all possible reactions flitted across a single man’s face in rapid succession.

Robert the Red’s unconcealed rage stood out amongst the crew.Redhands,I’d heard him called. His gaze turned my knees to jelly and I had the intrusive thought that he’d have been better nicknamed Bloodhands, because he looked as if he wanted my blood upon his.

My throat caught.What had I done? Could it be true?

I backed away, hurrying to the emptiest part of the deck. The constant rocking of the ship didn’t disturb me andthatdisturbed me. Some part of my brain clung to the idea that this was all a part of an elaborate ploy, that I’d never really been aboard a pirate’s ship, let alone a member of the crew. But even I wasn’t stubborn enough to deny it any longer.

The only way I could bear this knowledge was if I’d been a prisoner and Colt’s treatment of me confirmed Ihad,in some manner.

Curious.

I didn’t know what to do with myself throughout the day and spent hours staring at the sea as if it could give me answers. I watched the sun move across the sky with increasing dread. When my legs stiffened, I ambled about the ship, but whenever I saw Colt, I immediately scurried in the opposite direction. Clearly, the crew had been instructed not to engage with me because they watched my movements with accusing eyes but never dared to speak.

Midday, Conks brought me to the galley and introduced me to a polite but reserved crewman named Miguel. Responsible for preparing everyone’s meals and for maintaining their rations of food and spirits, Miguel made me a meal of eggs and biscuits. The taciturn cook said nothing but joined me as I ate, and a warm feeling of security enveloped me. In my shrouded past, had we dined together many times before? The way his eyes darted to me and quickly looked away told me we’d meantsomethingto one another. And if we weren’t allies before, I wondered if I could gain his friendship in the present? If I could manage private access to the food stores, I could poison them and take down the entire crew in one swoop. I wouldn’t have to report back to Daniel or send our townsmen into battle.

Of course, there was the obvious problem of not having access to any poison. Perhaps some could be acquired when we docked in Nassau.

After I’d eaten the last crumb from my plate, Miguel startled me by mumbling, “I know you had good reason.”

“Pardon?” I whispered, staring into his deep brown eyes. “What do you mean?”

“For whatcha done,” he muttered, looking at me with almost pleading eyes. “For stealing the gold and-”

Miguel quickly cut himself off and I stiffened, hearing someone enter the door at my back. I turned to see Conks had come to collect me.

Was I but a common thief?No, it couldn’t be true.

Better than a common whore,argued a voice inside my head.

You are,said another voice.Colt whipped the whore to a wailing release last night.

I’d gone mad. Having no past for so long and being so close to answers, the space in my mind opened, filling with voices frantically searching for the truth.

“Thank you for a lovely meal,” I told Miguel, and he nodded as Conks and I took our leave.

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