Page 58 of Worth

I stop, puzzled. Nine days? It hadn’t felt like that long. But the number that really sinks in is the hundred calls. I’ve gone off before on my own and Zander leaves me alone. Why would he have been trying to call me so much? I don’t even remember what I did with my phone.

“I was working on a project,” I repeat. I’m sure as fuck not telling him—he’ll just get mad at me. I try to duck around him, but he stops me again. Agitated, I match his stance, crossing my arms. “Why are you being such a dick? I just want to go see Kitten.”

“Aiden, do you remember I told you I was going to the safe house to check in on the Skins you, Val, and Blake got?” Zander asks softly. “Do you remember me telling you that I was going to be gone for at least a few days?”

I furrow my brow. “I…No.”

He sighs. “Aiden, you answered me when I told you. You said you wouldn’t let Blake out when I told you not to.”

I blink a few times as I try to recall what he’s going on about. Bits and flashes of memories surface and I grin, finding the memory.

“Oh, right,” I agree. “I do remember that. After I took her breakfast.”

“Right. And then I left, remember?”

I frown. “Yeah.”

“And then you left.”

My head is suddenly aching. “I got an idea,” I say, by way of explanation.

“Which isn’t normally a problem,” Zander murmurs, holding a hand up in front of him like he’s preparing to block me. “But if I was gone, and you were gone, Aiden—who was here with Blake?”

I stare at him, confusion gripping me tight for a few moments. Then the realization dawns and my breaths turn to pants. “Where is she?”

“She’s—”

“Where the fuck is she?!” I shout. He grabs me as I rush the door. “Where the fuck is my Kitten?”

Panic has set in and I’m replaying the last—apparently—nine days. I hadn’t meant to be gone that long. I didn’t realize I had been. And now Zander won’t let me in and I’m terrified what that means. I keep screaming for her, fighting against his hold.

Zander shakes me by his grip on my shoulders. “Blake is…fine,” he hisses. “But she almostwasn’t. You left her here, and she didn’t have food for seven days.Seven days. A week, Aiden.”

“No,” I choke out, going limp. “I didn’t mean to!”

Zander closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. “I know you didn’t,” he says gently when he reopens them. “I know you wouldn’t hurt her on purpose. I should have tried to check in sooner,” he adds miserably.

“Where is she?” I beg.

“She’s inside,” he sighs. “But Aiden—she’s angry with us.”

Sheshouldbe. But this isn’t Zander’s fault. It’s mine. One hundred percent mine.

I thought I was doing something good. I did somethingforKitten, and in the process I let myself forget her. I’m a failure. I hate everything about me.

I’m dying. My insides are screaming, taunting me with every failure. I feel the edge of darkness start to slip over me, trying to persuade me to regain control. It’s whispering sweet nothings in my ear about how it was only a mistake, to not feel guilty.

For the first time ever, I kick the shit out of that little voice in my ear—that devil on my shoulder—and evict it. Iamguilty. I deserve judgement—herjudgement. I will take whatever punishment she decides I’m worthy of. I’ll give her a goddamn fork and let her riddle me with holes if that’s what she needs to get retribution.

I push away from Zander, straightening up. “Where is she?” I ask again, my voice wavering once but otherwise steady.

“Last I saw her, she was in the loft, reading,” he answers. This time, when I step toward the door, he moves aside.

I don’t run, but I damn near lock up a hip with how I’m power walking into the house and up the stairs. I hit the landing at the top and freeze, finding Kitten in seconds.

Curled up in the one of the high-backed chairs, she’s reading one of Zander’s books. Her hair is spilling forward, partially obscuring her face from my view. But she’s here. She’s alive. She’s not hurt. At least I don’t think she is.

I will die today if she’s hurt. I’ll make sure of it.

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