Page 90 of Shake the Spirit

“We must flee,” I explain to Oana as we hurry away. “I can’t get stuck hearing more boring stories.”

Looking back at her abandoned sister, Oana asks, “What about Anouk?”

“We’ll try to free her after making our rounds. If she’s smart, she’ll take a nap while my meemaw drones on.”

After deserting her sister, I take Oana from house to house to meet my out-of-town family. First, there’s my tall and tatted biker cousin Felix—aka Poet, aka the only son of Court and Justice—who is in town with his feisty brunette wife, Cricket, and their kids—Minnow, Murphy, and Magnus. Since the older two are teenaged twins, I keep the visit short. I’m not looking to get eyeballed by those hostile weirdos.

Next, we hit up soft-spoken brunette Matilda—aka the oldest daughter of Court and Justice—who seems to be rutting in her little sister Rie’s guesthouse. Though to be fair, I think blonde and bitchy Rie is rutting in the house belonging to her hippie husband’s brother’s wife. It’s very complicated, so I don’t ask questions.

Matilda’s pretty, often rowdy daughters—Vanna and Leonie—immediately torment me about Oana.

“Is she your real wife?” asks eleven-year-old Vanna as she takes Oana’s hand. “Rie said your marriage is make believe.”

I frown over her head at my pregnant cousin eavesdropping nearby.

“I’m all about state-approved marriages!” Rie calls out before hiding behind her hippie biker husband, Denver.

Matilda smiles at me in her tender way. “You found your girl from the woods.”

Stealing Oana away from Vanna and her ten-year-old sister, I share Matilda’s smile.

“She’s the best. Tell Rie that info since I plan to skip introducing her to Oana.”

“Hey!” Rie yells from somewhere near the house.

“Ignore her,” Matilda assures me. “She’s just trying to out-bitch Cricket.”

“That’s a losing battle right there.”

Sidestepping Rie, I do introduce Oana to her blonde daughters, eight-year-old spitfire Celeste, and shy six-year-old, Camille. The girls like Oana’s hair, so she squats down so they can play with the feathered ends.

“You look like a chick in King Peepaw’s rock videos,” Celeste says while her sister smiles.

Oana gets the most electric grin when the girls talk to her. I feel the exact moment when she officially catches baby fever. Considering I wouldn’t mind a few critters with my dream girl, I just smile and let her start hoping.

Soon, Oana and I chat up my parents before heading back for Anouk. Before we can reach Poppy’s back deck, OG Peepaw strolls out of the woods.

“It’s him,” Oana whispers in awe like she’s witnessing someone really cool rather than an old man struggling to keep his pants up.

“Zeb’s nearly a hundred,” I reply. “I feel like he should understand belts by now.”

Oana still stares at the scrawny old man in his ragged jeans and faded yellow T-shirt. Only his shoes are nearly new after he showed up at the family’s pot shop and demanded someone buy him better boots.

Right now, Zeb Earlham looks like he could use another shopping trip.

“Hey, Peepaw,” I say as he holds up his pants. “Need a belt?”

Running his hands through his wild white hair, he mutters, “Rope would work just as fine.”

“No, no, it’s your birthday. We should splurge and get you a belt.”

“Don’t show off for me. I’ve never cared for uppity people, and I won’t have any in my family,” he says before zeroing in on Oana looking 1970s rocker chick excellent. “Did you get your peepaw a prostitute for his birthday?”

“This is my woman. Even if she wasn’t, what would you do with a prostitute?”

“Oh, I’ve got plenty of spunk left in me.”

Rather than view the old man as a perverted loser, Oana still stares like he’s a magic man.

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