Page 58 of Shake the Spirit

“I don’t really want to leave town.”

“No, I don’t suppose you do.”

“I need Oana to be whoever she wants, and I’m unsure if that can happen in Tumbling Rock. Her family could make things uncomfortable,” I explain and then add, “And my family could make her feel like an outsider.”

“Hey, we get along fine with the Toomey girl and the hitman and his uptight kid. We barely lost our minds when Rie ran off with her hippie. I think we’ll do just fine with Oana, if you give us a chance to know her.”

I offer him a little smile. “I’ve never wanted to push myself before. Getting by felt good. I like my life. The club, my job, living out here. With Oana, I’m willing to push myself to be better.”

“And we’ll help you, if you let us. But it takes time to add someone new to a group. With Otto gone, we’ve gotten used to being a foursome. But we always adjust when he returns with Betty. There’s no reason to think we can’t fold Oana into the family.”

Swinging my arms, I can’t shake my restlessness. “I want to skip the weird parts. I wish I could move Oana here and help her be herself. I don’t like sleeping at the hotel. It feels temporary. I want to be here.”

“So come back home.”

“I’m afraid I’m being weak by coming home. What if my weakness makes Oana vulnerable? Then, her family might swoop in and steal her away. They’ll keep her from me or even send her away. I’m rarely scared, but I’m terrified of losing her.”

“Son,” Pa-Donovan says in his dad voice, “if those Trinity Church fuckers take away your woman, they won’t keep her. We’ll rally the troops and ride into their little slice of Tumbling Rock to get her back. They might rule their people, but she’s no longer one of them. Get it?”

Nodding, I relax in the same way I would when I was a kid and needed shit dumbed down. My pa is a patient guy. He didn’t lose his temper when I got rowdy and broke stuff. His calm soothed my teenage hormonal madness. Once I got older, I didn’t think I needed his help.

Tonight, I remember why I always believed I had the best pa on the homestead.

I also figured I had the best ma. I think back to the situation I walked in on earlier. Oana was in my ma’s arms. She commented on how good my ma’s hugs felt. I know her parents aren’t warm people. However, I can’t imagine crying over getting a good hug. Is happy crying a real thing? I know my aunts fake cry when they’re happy.

But Oana is wired differently, and I haven’t figure her out yet.

“I overreacted with Ma,” I mumble to my pa.

“She’s the one who needs to hear that.”

I glance inside to see Edith and Oana sitting on the couch, swiping through pictures.

“Your ma is at her parents’ place.”

Nodding, I walk my scolded ass over to my grandparents’ house. King Peepaw sits out on his back deck, enjoying a blunt. He spots me and juts his thumb back toward his house.

“Feelings have been bruised, Dozer.”

I don’t usually mind being the bad guy. For the club, I show up and scare people. I’m never charming like my cousins who try to turn a beating into a party. I just arrive, make someone bleed, and leave. Never once did I feel guilty.

Yet, seeing my pouty ma sitting with Queen Meemaw leaves me reeking of shame.

Ma-Journey doesn’t make me grovel. As soon as I mumble how I’m sorry, she’s on her feet to give me a hug.

“You’ve got a big heart,” she replies to my apology. “That’s how I raised you.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing with Oana,” I admit as I return her affection. “I’m sorry I overreacted.”

Ma-Journey pats my face. “If you love her with all of your heart, everything will work out.”

Exhaling deeply, I feel like I’ve been riding blind for the last few days. I’m not a lone wolf. I don’t go rogue. My strength comes from my family here on the homestead.

Recharged from my parents’ pep talks, I return to Oana as the man I need to be.

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