Page 55 of Shake the Spirit

“How much trouble do you think your family will cause Ike and us?” Journey asks while Edith wears an identical frown to her mother’s.

“I don’t know.”

“We want Ike to be happy.”

“Me, too.”

“He isn’t accustomed to being on display. If your family starts picking at him, he might not know how to handle it.”

Her words make me worry about Ike. Whenever we share a space, I’m certain I can improve his life. He says I’m his dream girl, and our love is magic.

On the homestead, he’s surrounded by his usual people who keep him safe.What if I’m a threat to that happiness?

“I know you think I’m not good enough for Ike,” I blurt out, speaking quickly before I lose my courage. “But this isn’t me. I’m better on the inside. I just need to let that part out. This stuff on the outside is all the bad stuff. Soon, I’ll show you the good stuff, too. Then, you’ll know it’s okay for Ike to be with me.”

Journey leans her head back and sighs deeply. When she looks at me, I’m startled by how her arms wrap around my body.

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” she says and strokes my head.

I can’t remember my own mother ever hugging me with such warmth. Maybe that’s why I start crying and can’t stop. I never even knew I was missing out on anything. Is this kind of affection what Ike enjoyed growing up? No wonder he’s confident and open with his heart.

I cry harder when I think of Anouk trapped in my old home. She’s completely alone now. My troublemaking was the only thing that kept her from constantly ending up in the crosshairs. I bet my parents even punished her for my running off.

Ike appears from the back door, wearing a ferocious frown. “What’s this?”

As I step away from Journey’s amazing embrace, Edith answers, “Ma’s just explaining how Oana isn’t a bad person.”

Ike gets a confused look on his handsome face. I sense he wants to be angry but isn’t sure of his target.

“Who was saying you’re a bad person?” he asks, maneuvering me away from his mom.

“I was being kind, son,” Journey mutters. “How can you assume otherwise?”

“I don’t know,” he says and shrugs his big shoulders. “It’s my job to protect Oana.”

“We’re not the enemy,” Journey explains, though Edith’s annoyed expression doesn’t really sell her mom’s words. “Oana’s family did a real number on her.”

Ike’s frown softens as he wraps me in his arms. “Oana got unlucky with her parents.”

“I’m glad you didn’t,” I say as he wipes away my last tears. “Your home is warm, and your family is amazing. That’s why you can love me.”

“I do love you,” he says in a pained voice. “No one can stop me.”

His sister rolls her eyes and storms off toward the deck. Slower to leave, Journey acts like her feelings might be hurt by Ike’s reaction.

Once she’s out of earshot, I tell him, “Your mom’s hug felt so good. Did she hug you a lot when you were growing up?”

“Sure, and she hugs me a lot now.”

As tears threaten to return, I nod. “You’re lucky.”

Ike exhales softly, seeming torn between his family outside and me in his arms. I don’t know how to smooth over everyone’s bad feelings.

My family didn’t speak much except to admonish each other. I don’t know how these homestead people operate. I thought I got how it worked. They said and did whatever they wanted without worrying about the consequences.Their way was freedom.

Now, though, I think living this life is more complicated. I’ll need to know how to navigate all these new customs, so Ike can be happy.

Because no matter what he might claim, my dream guy isn’t capable of living happily anywhere except the homestead with his people.

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