Page 41 of Shake the Spirit

“I offer no promises unless you get out of my way.”

“As your future president, I’m ordering you to stand down and allow the women of this homestead to run roughshod over you.”

“Request denied,” I grumble and move forward, ready to knock these pretty boys on their asses.

Meanwhile, Tuesday and Alexis help crowd Oana as the flock slowly makes its way to Felix’s house.

“Take him down!” Edith calls out like she’s the general of this ragtag army.

Shrugging, Val rushes me. I dodge him and shove West on his ass.

“Hey, I wasn’t ready!” West hollers before reaching out and grabbing my leg as I bolt toward Oana.

Tripping me, West orders his brother to keep me down. I kick West’s hand, sending him howling. Val leaps for me, changes his mind as his body heads for mine, and twists so he ends up on the grass.

“What the frick was that?” Edith demands as she rushes over with a large, inflatable hammer. “There are two of you! Pin his ass already!”

“Ike?” Oana calls out to me. “Are you okay?”

Regaining my footing, I reply, “Yeah, babe,” despite my sister making a beeline for me.

Edith roars with her best rebel yell and hits me on the head with the oversized hammer, which makes a squeaking noise during contact.

“What’s wrong with you?” I ask my enraged sister.

Hitting me again, she hollers, “I’m enraged, you stinking queef!”

King Peepaw yells out, “Fair fight,” and throws a rubber sword to me.

I grab it midair and smack my sister in the butt. She gasps, narrows her eyes, and takes another swing at me.

We hit each other with abandon in the same way we did as kids, and our parents gave us these harmless weapons to work out our frustrations.

“You dum-dum,” she growls and smacks me on the head.

“Bossy brat,” I mutter and stab her in the belly.

“You don’t even know her.”

“I know enough to know she’s mine.”

“You went too long without screwing club sluts. Your brain’s broken. I order you to dump her and bang random women. Only then will we talk about marriage.”

“That’s dumb.”

“You’re dumb.”

“And you’re jealous.”

Edith stops whacking me on the head with the hammer and bursts into tears.

Everyone goes still. I stop stabbing her with the rubber sword. My parents look at me as if I’m a monster.

Tuesday hears Edith’s sobs and ditches her plan to corral Oana. My cousin runs toward the main group, so she can either comfort or mock Edith.

Before I find out which one, I wrap my arms around my sister and hug her tight.

“You’ll find your man.”

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