Page 18 of For Rage

Morgan sipped the scotch, enjoying the warmth in her throat. She wished Derik would have a drink with her like he used to, but if he'd made an effort to stay sober, she had to respect that. She realized then that she never did get caught up on his life.

"What happened with you?" she asked him.

He laughed. "That's a big topic."

Morgan took another sip. "I've got time."

Derik sighed, leaning back in the couch, and Morgan found herself wishing he was just a bit closer to her. Maybe it was just the alcohol talking, but she was finding herself drawn to him.

"Things just got … so messy between us.”

Morgan held her breath. She hoped it had nothing to do with that kiss they’d shared all those years ago …

“It just wasn’t working out,” Derik said. “As you know, things had been rocky for a long time.”

She remembered. They never would’ve kissed like that if things with his wife had been perfect. She remembered them talking about taking a break before, which was part of how she’d justified the kiss back then, but looking back, it was wrong, no matter what. He’d still been married.

It was hard to picture Derik's married life after she went to jail. The thought that he'd had one, even if the marriage ended up failing, still made her envious. She never got to have a wedding. A chance to fall in love again. Not while she was locked up.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"Don't worry about it," Derik said, a small smile on his face. "I'm happy now. I've found a good balance in my life. Work, friends, and the occasional date."

Morgan shifted closer to him, feeling the heat of his body. "And what about love?" she asked. "Have you found that too?"

Derik's eyes met hers, and for a moment, Morgan thought she saw a flicker of something there. Something that made her heart race. But then he looked away, and the moment was gone.

"Not yet," he said softly. "But I'm not looking for it, either."

Morgan felt a pang of disappointment. She wondered if she'd read too much into that moment, or if she was just imagining things. But then she remembered something she'd read in a book once in her time in prison. She'd read a lot there. Something about how life was too short to not take risks. Too short to not go after what you wanted.

But then Derik said, "After everything that happened with Emma, I'm pretty turned off of love and family and all that crap. The idea used to matter to me. I used to want kids, I used to dream about my perfect life with my perfect family. But I thought I had it, then it died in the worst way possible."

Morgan's heart sank. "What happened?"

"She cheated on me," Derik said. "A full-blown affair that had been going on for at least a year. We divorced right after I found out."

"Damn," Morgan said. She felt for Derik. Even with their heat-of-the-moment kiss, they had never engaged in an actual affair. Both were bad, she knew that, but what Emma had done was certainly worse. "Sorry," she added.

"Yeah, well, it's all good," Derik said. "I started drinking too much after that, but then I turned my life around and got sober. Still, I've pretty much accepted that I'm gonna die alone. Love's not for everyone." He eyed the bottle of scotch but said nothing more.

"It's not too late for you," Morgan said, eyes lingering on his face. Derik always gave off the impression that he didn't know he was a handsome guy, but he was.

He looked at her, his eyes flicking up and down her face, stopping right at her lips.

Morgan felt her heart skip a beat. The tension between them was growing, and she couldn't deny the feelings that were stirring inside of her. She wanted Derik. Part of her had always wanted him.

Without thinking, Morgan leaned in and pressed her lips to Derik's. At first, he was still, his body tense under hers. But then, he relaxed and deepened the kiss, his hands finding their way to her waist. Morgan moaned softly into his mouth, running her fingers through his hair.

Then, in one quick motion, he pushed her away.

Morgan jolted back, smacked by the cold sting of rejection. Derik looked at her in shock, and embarrassment coursed through her. Morgan didn't think. She just stood up, grabbing the bottle of scotch as she did.

"Shit, sorry, Greene," she muttered.

She stumbled toward the door, scotch in hand, wondering how she could ever face Derik as her partner again.

She'd just royally messed everything up.

---