Page 19 of Nanny for the Silver Fox

Shae laughs. "Do what you want, Cass. Life is too short to live by someone else's rules."

"If you were me, what would you do?"

"I know you want a guy to settle down with and have that guy be your first, but what's wrong with having a little fun? Ivan may not be the settling-down type, but he will be fun. Girl, I know he can give you earth-shattering orgasms that will have you screaming his name."

Heat rushes to my face. "Shae!"

She giggles. "I’d ride Ivan in a heartbeat. Your dad doesn't have to know."

“I can’t do that.”

She clicks her tongue. “Are you telling me you’ve never thought about fucking Ivan?”

Her question makes my stomach flip, half from the thrill of a forbidden night and a half from the anticipation of my first time. I imagine the feel of Ivan's strong muscles beneath my fingers, his girth entering me, and experiencing what Shae and other women have always talked about.

“You’re thinking about it aren’t you?!”

“No…well, yes.” I let out a sigh. "Shae, I can't. It's too complicated."

"Don't be scared," she says in a non-judgmental voice. "Just let yourself experience the moment."

"I can't be another notch on his bedpost."

"It doesn't have to be in a bed," she quips. “It could be on the beach or a boat."

I laugh. "Absolutely not."

"Are you sure? It could be exhilarating…"

"Uh-uh."

"Okay, well, I have something to tell you about him now that you've decided not to have sex with him."

My eyes widen. "You've had sex with him?"

"No, I wish! If I had, I would have mentioned it ages ago." I hear the clicking of keys on a laptop. "I know you don't look at gossip pages, but I was curious. There are very compromising photos of him floating around online. He is on a balcony with two women."

I swallow hard. "What are they doing?"

"Well, they aren't in the act, but they're getting close to it. He's shirtless, and they barely have anything on." I hear more typing. "I'm sending you the link."

My phone pings, and I open the email from Shae. My chest tightens as I look at the pic. "That's her."

"Who?"

"The woman from the pub. The other one must be Lila."

I look at their nubile bodies and how they’re wrapped around his body, and I feel like a complete fool. I’m not experienced. I’m the opposite of experience.

I don't think I can handle being with someone like him. I can’t compete with girls who flaunt themselves to get what they want.

But then again, it isn’t like anything real can happen between us.

Shae sighs. "I'm sorry, Cass. At least you know the truth."

My heart sinks into my stomach. He was so nice to me, but that’s his way of putting on the charm and getting what he wants. I should have seen this coming. I look up at the horizon, the sun has set, and the streetlights are on. I close my book and put on my sandals.

"Thanks for listening to me vent."

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