“Christ,” he said, and I could tell he was blushing even in the low blue light reflecting from the pool.

“Too much?”

“Not too much,” he said quickly. “Never too much. I’m just embarrassed by how much I like the sound of that. It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten to be someone’s boyfriend. And I think I really want that.”

I gave a quick nod to the crowd around us. “Even with all of this bullshit?”

He shrugged one shoulder. “Worth it.”

A surge of affection rushed through my heart.That, I realized, was all I wanted. I wanted someone who did think I was worth it. Who could be with me even through the insane fucking whirlwind that was my life. Who knew exactly who I was, and wouldn’t shy away for a moment.

“Nathan Wood,” someone said from behind him, and I glanced over to see his best friend Rush, beaming at us. “You owe me a long conversation, but first, an even longer hug.”

“Go ahead,” I said to Nathan. “I’ll be right here when you’re done. Watch out, though, because probably half of the people at this party are going to want to be your new best friend.”

Nathan looked blissed out, the kind of way he looked after he came. I resisted the urge to drag him into the bedroom away from everyone, right now, and be possessive as hell for the rest of the night.

Later, he could be mine.

The moment I turned around, I saw Callie behind me, her eyebrows raised.

“I know,” I said preemptively. “I know.”

“No explanations necessary,” she said, holding her hands up. “I’m really fucking happy for you, Kace.”

“I have a boyfriend,” I whispered to her, surprised at how triumphant it made me feel. “I didn’t even fucking know I wanted a boyfriend.”

“I’m pretty sure youdidn’twant one, unless it was a one-in-a-million person,” Callie said. “And I need to get to know him better, but something tells me I’m going to like him, too.”

For the next couple of hours, I got completely sucked into the party. Every two minutes it felt like a new person was coming up to me, all saying the same things: who is he, how did you two meet, andhe’s really, really fucking cute.I kept my eyes on Nathan from across the backyard, watching as something similar happened to him, too. First he spoke with Charlie and Shawn, but then a steady stream of people were coming up to hug him, give him high fives, and introduce themselves.

It was the most relaxed I’d ever seen him in a social setting. His normal wallflower attitude was nowhere to be seen. He just seemed comfortable, ready to speak his truth to anyone who felt like asking.

I knew exactly how good that felt.

Howfreeingit was, to finally be able to be yourself.

I’d gotten there a little over a year ago, and Nathan was just starting on that path now. When I finally made my way over to him, Marcus and Brent each had one arm wrapped around Nathan’s shoulders, and Nathan was holding his phone up, taking a short selfie video.

“Out here with my boy Nathan and we’re living it up,” Brent was saying. “How are you feeling tonight, Nathan?”

“Surrounded by two of the best players the Ferals have ever had… I’m feeling prettyfire,” Nathan said. “Is that the right way to say that?”

Marcus erupted into laughter, and Nathan was beaming, too. “Oh, that’s all on video, and that’s all going on the ‘gram,” Marcus said. “If that’s okay with you.”

“Go for it,” Nathan said.

“You are the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen,” I said, stepping in to squeeze Nathan. “Brent, I see you’ve already started giving my boyfriend a hard time.”

Brent lifted his eyebrows. “Well,Iposted that on my Instagram about five seconds ago, and I already have about fifty comments asking who the ‘hot dad’ is. I think Nathan might be more famous than you in a few weeks.”

The rest of the party went by in a surreal blur. I made sure to hug everyone before they left, and got as many congratulations on my kiss as I did on my show.

When I finally closed the front door on the last person to go home, I was exhausted down to my bones. A slow wave of emotion came over me as I clicked the door shut, then walked back toward the kitchen.

After Nathan had kissed me, it had been easy to push away the hurt from my parents’ interview. But it was still there, buried inside me, like a wound that had really never gotten the chance to begin healing.

That might never heal, if I was being honest.