Page 56 of Knocked Up By the Playboy

But right now, Nathan was the only one who knew what was going on in my world. I could sense disaster like the smell of rain right before a big storm. I knew what it was like to fall for someone who kept me secret. Someone who was in the closet and wasn’t ready to come out of it.

It had crushed me, back in the day, when my first real love just couldn’t be there for me, and I knew I was teetering dangerously close to plunging right back down a path like that now. I could have any guy I wanted, hook up with anyone, and I had everything in the world I needed, at my fingertips.

And all I wanted was the guy I couldn’t have.

Someone straight. Someone who still wanted to hide what we were doing.

I was fucked. But I already knew I was going to let myself have fun until it crashed and burned, because that’s what I always did.

No off button.

13

NATHAN

Maddy was only about twenty minutes away from Kace’s house, but as the car moved through the streets felt like we’d entered another world. Clutter and sun-bleached objects littered the lawns of every house we drove by, and weeds sprung up out of the ground, surrounding chain-link fences and broken car parts. We were in Wheelen, one town over from Jade River, a town that had once housed numerous factories and homes that had mostly ended up abandoned by now.

My heart pounded as we approached the address Maddy had given me. I saw her, sitting out on the curb in front of one of the ramshackle homes, wearing a blue dress and standing up as she saw the car.

The spot behind my sternum ached as I saw her. My kid, scared and alone, in a strange place. The moment the black car pulled up outside the house, Maddy burst into tears. I opened the back door of the car, getting out and pulling her into a hug, keeping her close.

“Tell me you’re okay?” I asked her.

“I’m fine,” she said, her voice sounding anything but. “I just want to get out of here. His roommates are creepy—“

“They didn’t do anything to you, did they?” I said, anger flashing in me like a flare.

“No,” she assured me. “They were so high already. I woke up to one of the guys busting into the room where I was sleeping and asking me if I had any coke.”

“Cocaine, Madeleine?” I lost my cool for a moment.

“I didn’t do any drugs, Dad,” she said, and somehow I immediately knew she was telling the truth. “Like, seriously? I have no desire for that. I just want to get the hell out of here.”

I clenched my jaw, resisting the urge to head inside the house and strangle these guys, whoever the hell they were. But instead I just squeezed Maddy tighter.

“These do not sound like guys you should be hanging out with,” I said, trying to keep my cool and not blow up. I’d have plenty of time for serious talks with her about this, but right now wasn’t the time.

“I never want to see them again,” she said, and relief hit me like a wave.

It looked like she still had makeup on from the previous night. After I’d held her for at least a minute, we got into the back of the car, and Maddy looked around, confused.

“Wait. Um, what car is this?” she asked quietly, wiping away mascara-streaked tears from her cheek.

“Kace’s car service,” I explained. “I was at his house. Starting on the construction project.”

“God,” she said, looking down. She looked crushed in a way I’d never seen before. Embarrassed, even. “I’m sorry I had to ruin everything.”

“Mads,” I said, “you didn’t ruin anything. I was happy to come get you. Worried, but that’s all.”

“Mom said she had to leave the courtroom to take my call. I’m sodumb.”

“You are not dumb. At all,” I told her. “Everyone makes mistakes—”

I froze as Maddy sobbed, collapsing onto my shoulder and crying as the car slowly started to drive away. I put an arm around her, bringing her in close and rubbing her back as she cried, watching the light filter through pine trees as we drove.

Right now she needed to feel all of her feelings. I simply had to be here for her. My heart felt like it was threatening to crack in two, seeing Maddy like this—like there was a riotous storm inside me, wishing I could erase any doubt she had about how precious she was. To protect her from the tornado that life could be. She’d always been so strong, so willful, so smart, and she deserved that more than anyone else I knew.

But everyone had to live and learn. In whatever form that took.

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