Page 20 of Loved By the Mountain Man

This is what I want,I tell myself.

I want to keep travelling, to have an adventure. I don’t want to get knocked up on the side of a mountain.

Then why does it hurt so much to walk away?

11

KOBE

Snow starts to fall as I watch Hailey walk away, chilling me on the outside as much as on the inside. She’s still got my coat on. I insisted she wear it when she left the cabin or she’ll freeze on the damn road.

I was so sure we shared a connection. But I was stupid to think Hailey could love someone like me.

On the other side of the street, Angie scurries past with her kids, hustling them home from school before the snow gets heavier. I’m about to pull out and offer them a lift when Corbin pulls up next to them.

The kids pile in the back of his car, and Angie gets in the front. She throws her head back and laughs, and I wonder what the sullen Corbin could have possibly said to make her laugh like that.

Angie was married to Paul for four years before he was killed. They hooked up after he signed up, so she knew the life she was getting into and the risks that come with marrying into the military. I asked her once if she ever regretted it, loving someone that much, knowing you might lose them.

She thought I was ridiculous.

“He gave me four years of absolute happiness,” she said. “You’d be a fool to regret that.”

As I watch Hailey walk away, I think about those words. Am I a being a fool, letting her slip away like this without even telling her how I feel?

If I’m honest with myself, I’m terrified. If I tell her how I feel and she rejects me, it’ll confirm everything I know: that I’m not worthy of a woman like Hailey. But if I never tell her, how will I ever know if I missed my chance for happiness?

Seizing the door with determination, I throw it open and stride toward the line of people waiting for the bus. My hands are sweaty despite the cold, and my pulse is racing.

Going to war was a terrifying experience, but I don’t think I’ve ever been as scared as when I stride over to Hailey.

The woman holds my heart in her hands. My future happiness depends on what happens in the next few minutes. She will either crush me or make me whole.

“Hailey.”

My hand thumps down on her shoulder, and she jumps. I’ve startled her, again proving what an oaf I am. I almost back away, but when she turns around her eyes are red from crying. When she sees me they widen, a hopeful expression coming over her face.

I talk quickly before I can chicken out.

“Hailey, we’ve only known each other for a few days. Less than a few days, about twenty-four hours, or maybe a bit less…”

I’m bumbling, and it’s not coming out right. I look around in frustration, but there’s no unit here to back me up. I’m all on my own in the trenches.

I take a deep breath and start again.

“I knew the moment I saw you that you were someone special. You make me forget the bad things and remember the good things, like joy and hope. You make me feel alive in a way that I haven’t felt since I came back from Iraq…”

Man, this is hard. She’s looking at me intently, letting me talk, and I still have no idea if my feelings are reciprocated.

“I know I’m old. I know I’m broken. I know I’m scarred. And I know I’m not the adventure you’re looking for. But is there any chance you could ever love a man like me?”

I’ve never felt so vulnerable. I’ve never felt so afraid. I’ve never felt how precious my heart is, that someone can hold it in their hands and have the absolute power to crush me or lift me up.

“Kobe.” She fists the lapels of my jacket. “I already love you.”

She pulls on the lapels of my jacket for emphasis.

“Then why are you leaving?” The relief is immense, but I’m still confused.

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