Page 56 of Light Me Up

July 4th - Kate

I take a sip of my Fireball, enjoying the cinnamon burning down my verysorethroat after our sex earlier. I’ve acquired a taste for the cinnamon whiskey now that Zo and I have been pretty much inseparable. Once the Feds took control of the company, Santi and Zo moved into The Getaway. I joined them shortly after, with the approval of Santi, of course.

When we first moved our stuff in, I asked Zo what color we should paint the walls. He admitted that they’d intentionally left the white paint, wanting everything light. What drew both of them into the place was the open layout, the expansive windows, and the overall calming feel of the home. They’d lived in darkness for so long, this was a perfect opposition.

In exchange for their service, Santi and Zo were wiped clean of the things they were essentially forced into doing. Brad was an outlier, but their consciences are clear in knowing it ultimately allowed them to bring their fathers down.

My conscience is clear, too. I'm finally sleeping better, knowing that all of his secrets had a reason. His actions since the day I was kidnapped have made up for all of his shitty behavior, slowly rebuilding my trust. It doesn't hurt that he's an excellent cuddler, either.

“Sorry, princess. Santi needed help with one of the dishes,” Zo says, walking through the sliding glass door to our deck that overlooks the bay. He’s slowly started incorporating navy blue shirts in his wardrobe.

“I didn’t needhelp. You agreed to make it, then left me to do it,” Santi bites out resentfully. Char follows him onto the patio, shutting the sliding glass door behind her.

“I never agreed to do it. You told me I had to,” Zo retorts.

“Here, toots,” Char says, giggling at the two of them as she hands me one of the romance books I’d leant her. I took her advice to heart, branching into the genre. Because suddenly, I believed in love stories and happy endings. “You were right, this one wassogood!”

I tuck the novel beside my leg as Lorenzo joins me on the white wooden swing with navy blue cushions. His own drink in hand, he holds it up to us. Santi, Char, and I raise our glasses.

“To a fucktastic Fourth,” Zo says with a lopsided grin.

“Fucktastic?” Char questions.

“Yeah. Fucking Fantastic,” Santi informs her as if this is common knowledge.

“Or lots of fucking, however it works out for you,” Lorenzo adds. We all laugh and clink our glasses before taking a drink.Zo watches as I licks my lips, then kisses me deeply.

Char clears her throat. “Well, I think I’ll go wait for everyone inside,” she says, clapping her hands together. “Santi, you joining me?”

“Of course, doll,” he replies. It still takes everything in menotto laugh when I hear a guy like Santi using a pet name like doll, but I succeed in stifling it. They re-enter the house, leaving Lorenzo and I alone.

“Everything’s ready inside?” I ask, placing my hand on his thigh. The crew is coming over tonight for a Fourth of July party we’re hosting. Carter and D were pissed to find out that they were in the dark about a lot of the happenings with Santi and Zo, but they understood the need for secrecy. They’ve left the dealing game behind and found new jobs at another mortgage brokerage.

As for Zo and I, we decided we'd like to explore our options before committing to new jobs. He was able to save a lot of money while living at Rowan's house rent free. He donated all the money he made selling with Marco to a drug rehabilitation center. I have some money saved, and he and Santi said they'd cover the rent while I look for a new job, which I've been so grateful for.

As much as I've always loved working, this break was much needed.

I told Zo he should become a teacher since he was so good at teaching me how to drive. He laughed and said I was biased, but the look in his eyes told me he was considering it. As for me, I want to stay in finance. Numbers are still a source of tranquility for me.

“Yeah, all good,” he says. “Now let’s get back to celebrating you. A new driver, and an absolutebadass.”

We both look down at the new tattoo under cling wrap on my left forearm. The word badass is inscribed in typewriter font with a period at the end. The blood is drying along the ink and the skin feels raw, but it’s well worth it.

When the tattoo artist asked if I wanted the punctuation, I said no. It wasn’t how I originally envisioned it. But as he was tattooing the word onto my skin, I realized a period made sense. It was a point of finality. It means there’s no further discussion.

I am a badass.

Period.

I refuse to ever doubt it again.

So I told him to add it, and he smiled in agreement.

“Period,” I say to Lorenzo.

He plants a light kiss on my lips, then we stare out at the water. The sun just set, and the stars are beginning to light up the sky with a new moon hanging picturesquely in the corner of my view.

“Do you think we’ll ever have kids?” Lorenzo asks suddenly, and I choke on my drink.

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