Page 26 of Never Say Never

“Asshole.” Brian sets the white ball back and waits until I am ready to take my shot when he says, “Moving fast with Brandi.”

I hit green. A pull of longing that mixes with something heavy hits the pit of my stomach and I look up. “I like her.”

“Mmm,like.”

“Dude. C’mon, I don’t know what you want from me. You want me to say it’s love? Because…” I stop. Is it? What I feel for the little blonde is more than like, I know that. But love?

It is something I steer myself from because of the mess of my marriage. And love is a label.

Or maybe I’m lying to myself and I’m chickenshit.

“Because, Brian, I love having her with me. She’s good for me and it keeps getting better.” There. I said the word and didn’t burst into flames.

“You moved her in with you.”

After whatever that weird shit is with her place that lets a dark pit in my stomach when I think of it. How can I not think of what happened there before? What happened to Maya? No one had been able to stop that, but damned if I am going to have anything happen to Brandi, too. Not on my watch. So fuck yeah, I moved her in. To protect her. To have her with me. I shrug. “She was basically living with me, anyway. Just made it official.”

Brian’s lips form a thin line and I take another sip of my beer.

“Look, I don’t owe you jack.” I set the glass down. “You’re not my mother. And you’re sure as shit not some kind of prude.”

“Hey, I just said you moved fast.”

“You’re protective, I get it.”

Brian sets down his cue stick and picks up his beer, turning the glass in his hand. “Yeah, well.”

“So am I. After what happened with her place, I don’t want to leave her living alone.” I level a hard look at my friend.

A tenseness vibrates through Brian. “You got me. Just don’t break her heart.”

“Let’s finish up,” I say with a nod, because Brian’s words don’t deserve anything more.

I don’t know where this is leading, but I have no intentions of that.

None at all.

Brandi sits curled on the couch when I get home, begging off from the rest of boys’ night. And my heart constricts in my chest, giving a little sideways lurch at the same time when I see her.

Damn but she looks good on the sofa, her blonde hair a little longer, mussed by thoughtless hands as she reads something on the tablet that rests on the arm of the couch. She glances up, green eyes glittering, a soft smile playing over her lips, and the spark of nervous doubt is not as strong for the first time since she’d moved in almost two weeks ago.

“Hey.”

“Hey, yourself,” she says, “finished early?”

“Beer and pool aren’t as exciting as they’re made out to be. One beer’s my limit, apparently.” For that night, anyway. I wanted to see her, bask in that coziness that comes with someone in my place, someone for me. The newness of it a thrill that chases the doubts whenever I see her. “Should I have called to let you know I was on my way?”

I glance about but the place seems empty, the coffee table clean except for a mug placed neatly on a glass coaster.

“Maya just dropped me off. I was tired.” She closes the cover of the reader and stretches, her bare toes pointing as she unfolds herself on the couch. “That’s okay, right? I mean—”

“Hey, baby?” I sit next to her, swinging her by her legs to face me as I massage her toes, loving the way heat flares up pink beneath her tan on her throat and cheeks.

“Yes?”

“You live here. You can be here whenever you want or not at all. It’s how it works. But if you don’t spend time here, I’m gonna be grumpy as fuck.”

She wrinkles her nose and for a moment I get a glimpse of the sadness that sometimes pops up when she thinks I don’t know. Every time I see it, I want to ask about it, but then I watch as she shoves it down and her mouth thins a little. It’s something too private, too painful, and something she doesn’t want to feel, so I leave it alone.

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