Page 57 of Never Give Up

Poppy looks surprised. “Yeah, and what does all that mean to you?”

Now that I have finally started talking about the reasons I want to be with him, they come easier with every passing second. “You’ve seen how he is with the boys. When Jonathan decided that he wanted to join both the peewee football team and band at the same time, Brian made sure that it could happen. Even if it meant asking for help from us to make sure that he could make everything work.” I feel like I’m making a list but continue anyway. “When James wanted to take art classes, it was the same thing. He supports them no matter what. He’s a good man. And he’s smart, even if he doesn’t show it when he’s walking in here being a domineering jerk sometimes. I feel like there’s a whole side to him that no one gets to see.” I should stop talking, but I can’t. Not without Poppy knowing the last bit. The reason I’ve been more than a little in love with him for what feels like forever.

“When I see that side of him, when he opens up to me even a little—my entire week is brighter for having that piece of him. I never feel like anything I say or do is wrong when he’s there with me.”

Poppy nods, listening to everything I’m saying and taking it in before she answers. “I just… I worry. Because you’ve gone back and forth and there’s so much emotion in you. Not just about him, but from everything. I care about you, Maya. And I’m worried that you’ll be more in this than he is, and then where would you be left?”

I breathe in. “I don’t even know what any of this is. A beginning? Something passing? I think… I think I might just need it. Whatever it is. Whatever he can give me. If that’s everything, or just a little piece. I think I need it to move on with my life.”

“I can’t stop you. Or him. Just be careful.”

“I am,” I say. “And I promise not to walk away with a broken heart, if that’s where the road leads.”

A truth and a lie, but at this point, I’m not sure which is which.

20

BRIAN

Maya doesn’t cometo dinner with my parents. Not because she doesn’t give me a chance, but because we are both called in to work overtime.

A shift that sucks ass, but I won’t complain because I get to hear her voice on the radio all night.

By the time the end of shift rolls around, I have a single text message.

From Maya.

Maya

I think we need to talk.

My heart thumps hard at that simple little message. In the history of the world, that’s never meant anything good.

The thought that she may look at what happened between us as a mistake rocks me to my core. It wasn’t a mistake. It couldn’t be.

Instead of freaking out, I take a deep breath and prepare to wage a war if that’s what it takes. I don’t just want her friendship; I want—I want more. I want everything.

And yes, I’m haunted by the fact that my thoughts are echoing the rejection I gave her. Now she’s got the power to destroy me… and I can’t stand the idea that she might use it.

I get out of my cruiser as both Maya and Poppy walk out. Poppy takes one look at me and bounces off down the stairs without saying a word.

I lead Maya to the car and open the door, careful not to lean in too close, not to crowd or intimidate her. “You wanted to talk?”

She raises her eyes to mine, dark circles marring the skin beneath. I get that. Work takes a lot out of everyone here. But what hits me hard is the wariness in her gaze, the slight feeling of a wall coming down.

And I should have checked my phone earlier; I should have—

“I’m sorry,” Maya says, cutting off my thoughts. “I’m too tired. I just want to sleep. Maybe tomorrow or something.”

Just like that, she slams a door shut on any future for us.

Idiot. Of course she wouldn’t want you.

No.

I push the immediate sting of rejection aside.

She didn’t say that.

---