Page 91 of Never Give Up

“No. I—” He stops and gestures toward me. “Can I?”

I nod and he comes to my side, pressing a soft kiss to my lips, then he spins on his heel. “Maya, when I had that bastard, I wanted to watch as he died right in front of me. I wanted to kill him with my bare hands. I wanted to take back everything he stole from you. And then I didn’t. I made the decision that we had to keep him alive, so that he could answer for what he did.”

I try to speak but can’t.

“It wasn’t just the idea of jeopardizing the case. Or my job or anything. I just don’t think I could look at you knowing I’d done something like that, because I don’t think you’d want me to.”

I draw in a breath. What I want is to touch him, hold him. But that isn’t all he wants to say. Is it?

I don’t move, not much. Instead, I lift my hand slightly, and he immediately takes it.

“I wanted him dead, Brian. I wanted to hurt him more than I did.” Breathing still hurts. “But I’m glad you saved him, because now I’m not a murderer. That saying isn’t true, you know. The old eye for an eye.”

He closes the last little gap between us.

“I love you, Brian. But I’m afraid that I’m too much like him now. You don’t want that.”

“He hurt you, that’s true. And you’re not like him. Not really. You’re too strong, too special, tooyou.”

Brian kisses me softly.

“Maya, I want you in my life. In all the ways that count. And I don’t want that between us. The idea I went too far. Because there’s protecting you and there’s anger and I’m not that guy. I’m not the one who hurts someone else just because I can. I could have been. I wanted to be. I wanted to spill his blood and yeah, I wanted him dead by my hand. But more than that, I wanted you to look at me like I’m the same man you said you fell in love with. Because I’m in love with you.”

“You are,” I tell him. “Even if you did, you’d still be him.”

“You’re not leaving me, then? For letting him live?”

“Never.” I smile against the pain. “You’re kind of stuck with me. At least until I can move into my own place again.”

Brian’s there, pulling me into his arms as gently as he can. “Stay with me. Stay with us. Don’t move out. We need you.” He says the words into my shoulder, and I shudder at the way his breath slides over my skin.

“Always.” The darkness is sweeping over me, and I’m falling into a sated sleep of exhaustion, comfort, and an enticing concoction of pain medication.

“Maya.” His words are fading away, but I still feel like I have to answer him.

“Yeah?”

“Do you think it’s fate?” I can barely understand what he’s saying, but I know that it’s important to him that I answer the question honestly.

Neither of us want to say the word that’s carved into my arm, refusing to give it more power than it should have.

Instead, he’s stroking the skin surrounding my wounds, gently caressing everywhere that’s exposed.

“Without a doubt.” I say it confidently and reach up to kiss him on the nose, which is as close to his lips as I can with the meds in my system.

He moves and my lips land on his.

“I love you, Maya.”

“I love you too, Brian.”

“I want more, Maya. I want everything.”

EPILOGUE

MAYA

Andrew Weiss diedin the hospital before he could be convicted of his crimes. But I don’t care because I’m free.

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