Page 11 of Never Give Up

This.

James and Jonathan are why I work as hard as I do. They’re the reason I can’t give Maya more. Their mother was the last one I let in, and I destroyed her, stealing the only piece of happiness in their lives. I won’t bring Maya in just for them to lose her.

Not the way they lost their mother.

I quietly make my way back to my room and slide into bed, fighting the nightmarish memories that always threaten to take over when I let the darkness in.

Even as I close my eyes, the smell of fruit that lingers when I’m around Maya pushes those nightmares away. At least until the scent fades and I’m thrust right back into the terror and bloodshed that almost stole my boys away from me.

No.

Not again.

But I’m there. My room, in a different house, in a different city. Surrounded by the smell of iron that I don’t think I’ll ever escape from.

Sirens are flashing in the distance, and i’m holding both boys in my arms. Two small, barely moving bodies, wrapped in a blanket while I pray that they survive.

I don’t know what their mother did. What she gave them to make them sleep.

“Please. Please don’t take my boys.” The words are ripped from my throat. “Please don’t let them leave. Not like her.”

Their mother is gone. She made sure of that. So much blood, coating the bathroom like she’d dumped a gallon of paint on the walls and floor.

But she didn’t.

She used a gun.

There’s no saving her.

How did I miss this? How did I cause her to do this? To kill herself and try to take my boys with her?

The boys.

I failed their mother, but not them.

Not yet.

The boys have a chance.

When I hand them to the paramedics that come bursting into my house, I know. I’ll do anything to keep them safe.

Anything to keep them from losing me, too.

Never again.

That night. So long ago. It’s always right there. Waiting for me. Haunting my every dream.

I can’t bring anyone else into my horror story.

I need to keep Maya away.

Hurting her a little bit right now means that the darkness inside me won’t destroy her too. With her, I’ll gladly be the villain. Because even if my life would be perfect with her in it, she deserves more than to be stuck with a villain like me.

4

MAYA

“You’re being an idiot,Maya. You should be resting, not getting ready for work.”

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