Page 245 of Dirty Padraig: Dirty Dusters

JJ loves having Irish around too, but I can’t help noticing his wistful look whenever the front door opens. Each time, he’s hoping that it’s Eoin. I know he is. He’s too young to understand why he’s no longer around. All he sees is his absence. Having already lost Ace, it’s heartbreaking to witness my little boy’s soulful eyes fill with tears as he pines for the man who became the father figure in his life.

I have so much to be grateful for. I also have so many regrets.

Our lives have changed. We no longer have to look over our shoulder twenty-four-seven. Yes, we will always have enemies, but it’s no longer such a constant threat. I never realized how much living day by day affected me. How much it changed me as a person.

I was angry. I was scared.

It made me volatile.

Eoin bore the brunt, and for that, I will always be truly sorry.

I want to apologize, but I know my words would offer no salve against the deep wounds I inflicted on him. And to apologize, I’d need to be in contact with him.

I’m not.

I know he speaks to Dylan several times a day. I ask after him. I’m told he asks after me too. But we never talk to each other directly.

No calls. No messages. No emails.

He’s alive. He’s well. He’s no doubt fucking his way across Chicago.

I keep asking why my life deviated.

Ace and I were meant. Irish and I were meant. Why did my path decide to take a detour? Why did my thread get tangled with Eoin’s when we were clearly never meant? When all it left was a bitter taste and a forever heartache?

I guess we’ll never know.

I love him. I will always love him. And like little JJ, I miss him.

My thoughts are disturbed by my vibrating phone.

Delaney:Extra-curricular just in. Call me.

I lean my head back against the sectional. The Exterminator’s been in the news a few times recently. In the end, Nate didn’t manage to send all of the trafficking scumbags down. The few high rankers he didn’t thought themselves off the legal hook until they found themselves on the receiving end of one of my engraved bullets.

These days, the press is no longer so adverse when it comes to the surreptitious sniper. The public is finally seeing him for what he is. An outlaw vigilante trying to rid the world of scum one diseased skull at a time.

I’m about to call Delaney when I hear the front door open.

A smile covers my face as Irish throws himself onto the sectional before dragging me down until we lie side by side.

“Tell me about your day, darlin’.”

I laugh as I press my nose against his neck so I can inhale the smell of Old Spice. “Well, I watched you kill someone, and then you fucked me twice in quick succession.”

He laughs heartily. “Hopefully, not too quick.”

I snort-laugh.

“And the kids?”

“At your ma’s. They’re having a cousin day with Sarah and Cill’s kids.”

He presses his smiling lips against the side of my head. “They say third time’s a charm, Jaine. What do you say?”

I snort again. “I say you’re insatiable.”

He shrugs with a smirk. “Well, I’ve got twelve years to make up for, along with the first three months where you kept me hanging. Did I tell you that my doc said….”

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