Page 229 of Dirty Padraig: Dirty Dusters

“What happened?” He looks at me, no doubt thinking on how best to respond.

Minutes pass.

“We were happily married. We had two young babies, Tadgh and Jessie. I was already prez of my own club, so we had a good life. I knew Duke even back then. He used to drop by sometimes when he had business to attend to in Vegas. Occasionally, Jeremiah would tag along. He was a quiet man, but he came alive whenever Paula was around. I should have seen the signs, but I didn’t. I thought she loved me. She did. But it turns out she had also fallen in love with Jeremiah.”

I know immediately where this is going. I suspect Eoin does too.

“Jaine’s mom also had the ability to love more than one man.”

And there it is.

We wait for him to continue. I can tell this is hard for him, the memories difficult to revisit. He runs his hand down his beard once more. “In the end, she admitted to me that she loved us both.” He pauses, his expression riddled with guilt and pain. “When they were old enough to ask questions, I told Jessie and Tadgh that their mom left through choice. I lied. I threw her out. I felt betrayed, even though I knew nothing had ever happened between her and Jeremiah. I didn’t even allow her to say goodbye to the children. She only had time to grab a handful of things before I locked her out of the house. It was the middle of the night, and she had nowhere to go. I didn’t realize she was pregnant with Jaine at the time.”

“How did you work out Jaine was yours?” I ask.

“I knew the moment I saw her on the screen in Nevada. It was the day after Reaper’s demise. It was like looking at Bailey. And when I heard the surname. Well, it was too much of a coincidence. Ace confirmed that she was Jeremiah’s daughter, but I knew she couldn’t be.”

“And why is that?” Eoin questions.

“It came up during a conversation between him and Paula. It was one that she just happened to share with me. The fact that he was unmarried with no little ones. Jeremiah was infertile. He couldn’t have children of his own.”

“I don’t understand why he never told Jaine.” I frown, disappointed on her behalf. She spent so much of her life alone when she had a ready-made family. She’s lost out on so much. The pain of missing out on Jaine’s life is permanently etched on Lucifer’s face. Thirty-one years that neither of them will ever get back.

“It won’t have been malicious. Maybe he was waiting for her to return home. I’m pretty sure he never expected to die when he did and in the way he did.”

I nod. Now it all adds up.

“I kept asking myself if I could go back in time, would I change things? I like to think I would be more understanding than I was back then. But I still wouldn’t have understood how one woman could love two men at the same time. I thought Paula had just been pacifying me. I thought she had been telling me what I needed to hear because she didn’t want to admit that she’d fallen out of love with me. Until I heard about Jaine going through the same thing with you two boys.”

“I’m pretty sure your wife would have chosen you and her children over Jeremiah.”

He looks at me defeatedly as he nods. “Maybe so, Padraig, but knowing she loved another man would still have ended things for me and her.”

“What point are you trying to make, Lucifer?” Eoin is starting to get agitated.

“You’ve asked Jaine to choose.” He looks at him, then turns to me. “She’s loved you longest, I’m told. I’m also told that everything she’s done these past three-plus years has been for you. With that in mind, you would think her choosing you would be the most likely outcome, but how would you feel if she didn’t? How would you feel if she chose your brother to spend the rest of her life with?” He then turns his attention to Eoin. “And you, Eoin? How would it feel watching from the sidelines as the love of your life spends the rest of hers with your brother? As the future Da Duster, you’d have no choice but to marry someone else.”

“Lucifer, what….”

“Don’t make her choose, Eoin.”

“What do you mean?” Eoin frowns and shakes his head. Now he’s worked out exactly what Lucifer’s suggesting. That we share Jaine.

My brother stands and starts pacing the floor. “Our parents would never condone that sort of relationship.”

Lucifer stands, slamming his hand on the table once more. “I’m told part of the reason you’re all in this mess is because your parents meddled! Your da manipulated a marriage of convenience between you and Jaine to suit his own purposes, and then your ma sent Jaine a message she had no business sending! They can hardly hold my daughter responsible for the mess she’s in!”

I watch as my brother’s face falls. He’s already riddled with guilt over the deceitful part he played in the past.

Lucifer’s right. We both know it.

They both retake their seats.

“She won’t be able to choose.” Lucifer’s tone is quiet. “I’m worried you’ll destroy what’s left of her if you try to make her.”

Two Days Earlier

Eoin's Apartment, Hudson Yards, New York

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