Page 73 of Dirty Padraig: Dirty Dusters

“You kissed!” I can’t miss the disappointment in his voice. It’s clear Dylan and Eoin have become close in my absence. Once he was understanding of my situation with Jaine, but now it seems he’s far more understanding of Eoin’s.

I feel betrayed, even though I have no right to. I left without either a word or a backward glance, so what did I expect?

“It wasn’t that sort of kiss. It was nothing more than a peck and more of a goodbye than a hello.”

“Either way, don’t tell Eoin.”

“I won’t.” I try to keep the bitterness out of my response.

“And how did you feel about the kiss?”

“I accepted the finality of it since there’s nothing much I can do about my own situation. I know they betrayed me three years ago, but I agree that having them marry was the right thing to do, given Fin was the result of their one-time union. The lad deserves to have his da in his life. I can’t blame Eoin for falling in love with her after they’d taken the vows.”

Another noticeable pause.

“Don’t you still love her?”

I laugh dryly, running my hand through my hair with a defeated sigh. “More than anything in the world, Dylan. You know that. But what can I do? I have to be realistic. My brother loves her, and she him, and they also share a child. I’m married to Sophia with no way out for the foreseeable future. I have to get her pregnant to escape, and during that time, I’m not allowed to see or speak to Jaine. I can’t make plans. Not with her. Not with anyone. All I can do is wait for Sophia to conceive.”

“And how do you feel about…. you know?”

“Fucking her? The thought of it makes me feel physically sick most of the time.”

“It can’t be that bad, surely. I mean, she’s a pretty girl, and you did have sex with her once before.”

“I was so drunk I can’t even remember it. It was also before I discovered just how toxic she is.”

“So what happens next?”

“Once I’ve agreed to the paperwork, she’ll make an appointment with the ob-gyn. Provided they say there are no medical reasons why she can’t fall pregnant immediately, it’s just a case of agreeing a date. Obviously, I’ll have to make an appointment with a urologist to make sure I’m not firing blanks.”

This is a conversation for pauses it would seem. I know there’s no point in asking any questions as I won’t be given any answers.

“So, she’ll move in with you?”

“I’ll move in with her.”

“Why?”

“Jaine slept in my bed. There’s no way Sophia’s ever sleeping in there now. Anyway, have you worked out how the security at the house was breached?” It’s my turn to change the subject.

“I have.”

“And.”

“The alarm wasn’t set after you left, so whoever had the controls for the car gates….”

“Sophia had them.”

“We know that. Ma’s already asked her why she didn’t activate the security.”

“And what did she say?”

“That she thought she had.”

“And she believed her?”

“What else could she do, Paddy? To call her a liar would see her tattle tale to her big brother, and that’s not a boat we want to rock right now. Not when we don’t know what he’s up to or what he’s capable of. If we want to accuse her, we need physical proof.”

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