Page 184 of Dirty Padraig: Dirty Dusters

I’m a killer. Irish’s ways may be more colorful and artistic than mine, but we are both willing servers of justice.

I am him. He is me.

It’s no wonder you two were so well-matched.

Maybe Fletch was right after all.

I stare at the bruising on my neck inflicted by Eoin’s monster. We fucked several times more, and I returned the gesture. Eoin O’Connell likes the world to know that he’s been claimed.

Has he been? I’m not sure he has. I’m not sure I have, either.

Until he’s revealed his truth to Irish and I’ve revealed my own to him, I’m not sure we can ever move forward. Our relationship is in limbo.

I towel dry my hair, then open and drag one of the several combs on offer through it. As they were in Irish’s apartment, all the toiletries were for men, but then killing’s not a very feminine act.

Maybe that’s why Eoin struggles so much.

He pretends he wants a murderous spouse, but I suspect he really wants a traditional Catholic wife. One who sees to his every demanding need both in and out of the bedroom and one who will also bear him a small army of mobster children.

Is that me? I don’t even know what me is anymore. My own confusion is likely what’s confusing everyone else.

Since Ace, nothing in my life has made any sense. I feel like I’m a pinball bouncing off the bumpers and being flipped back into the game, never getting the chance to stop and rest anywhere. At some point, it will be game over, and I’ll fall through the gap at the bottom.

Maybe it’s me who needs to find the balance. Maybe it’s me who’s out of alignment.

I run my finger down the side of a gleaming straight razor, cursing when the sharp blade kisses my skin, causing blood to quickly pool on the surface.

“Is everything okay, Jaine?”

“It’s fine. I’ve cut my finger, but it’s only a scratch.”

Irish doesn’t knock. He walks straight in, wearing nothing but a small white towel tied loosely around his slim hips. Beads of moisture cling to his inked skin, suggesting he’s not even bothered to dry himself. I watch him lift my finger to inspect it, gasping when he sucks the bloody tip into his mouth.

I stare at him. He’s still in his unhinged state.

My eyes drift unwittingly over his body. He’s truly beautiful. Unlike Eoin, who has the ripped, veiny body of a cage fighter, Irish has the body of a god. Everything is in proportion and tweaked to perfection. Maybe Dylan’s right. Maybe I’ve been wrong all along. Maybe it isn’t Eoin who’s the vain brother.

Maybe it’s Padraig.

Normally he’d comment and make a joke about me blatantly admiring him, but he doesn’t because he hasn’t reverted back to his true self yet. Or maybe this is his true self. Maybe the other has been the smokescreen all along.

He’s currently feasting on my blood. Do I like it? The wetness pooling between my legs suggests that I do. My arousal increases at the thought of tasting his too.

As if he can read my mind, he takes the blade and nicks his thumb. Then pressing it against my mouth, he drags it roughly across. My tongue flicks out to lick the surface of my now bloody lips, and as they part, he thrusts his thumb inside my mouth.

I groan as his metallic flavor hits. I suck hard. An action that produces a growl deep in his throat. What are we doing?

It’s wrong.It’s right.

He yanks my finger from his mouth before slowly drawing the bloody tip down his chest. Marking him. Staining him. Then he does the same to me with his before pressing both together.

Joined by fate. Sealed by blood.

Fisting my hair, he pulls my head back. He stares down at me, and I stare back. He’s back. The unhinged look is gone. Can he see the total adoration? Does he realize how much I fucking love him? How everything I’ve ever done was for him?

I welcome his mouth as it connects with mine, his tongue thrusting deep. The taste of the fusion of our blood floods my senses.

He deepens the kiss as he turns and lifts me so I’m sitting on the counter, and then his mouth drops to my neck. He sucks hard on the tender flesh. I know exactly what he’s doing. He’s branding me in the same way his brother did.

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