Page 103 of Dirty Padraig: Dirty Dusters

My gaze drops to her lips, and she licks them in response. Does she want me to kiss her? My mouth waters as I remember the unique taste of each soft moan and sigh. A taste that was once all mine. A taste which now belongs to my brother.

I won’t because even though they’re not together, it’s likely due to a misunderstanding over just that. Me and Jaine kissing.

I will never betray my brother because it turns out that he never betrayed me after all. He was given no choice but to marry Jaine, and it was undertaken to protect my son. Then he simply fell in love with her.

He never betrayed me.

She did.

CHAPTERTHIRTY-TWO

JAINE

St. Peter’s Church, Upper East Side, New York

Aside from thesectional we’ve been using, everything else in the safe room has been destroyed, the window to the outside world now smeared with fresh blood after being punched several times.

I take him in. His blue jeans, his long-sleeved white Henley, and his face are splattered with his own blood. His mussed hair is also streaked due to him repeatedly running his bleeding knuckles through its coal-black length.

“Dare.”

I throw it out there. I don’t know what I’m daring him to do exactly.

Kiss me? Kill me?

Given his current mindset, it’s most likely to be the latter.

Undiluted rage. He hates me for what I’ve done and also for what he thinks I’ve done, and he’s struggling to hold it back right now.

I went with dare because in this dangerous game we’re playing, there have been enough truth bombs for now, at least while we’re confined to a safe room that will potentially kill us both.

He continues to stare at me before dropping his gaze to my mouth. My insides turn molten as I lick my lips in response.

I realize that he won’t kill me. Love me or hate me, I’m the mother of his son. I also realize that he won’t kiss me. Not when he’s happily married to Sophia. I can taste my own disappointment at that realization.

In the end, he releases my chin, and I turn and walk back to the sectional.

Taking off my jacket, I lie on my side and sleep.

* * *

I’m notsure how long has passed when I finally wake. I know exactly where I am, so I don’t bother opening my eyes. There’s no point. The visual will still be the same as it was when I closed them, and I still won’t know whether it’s night or day. Our situation will also have remained unchanged.

I lay down alone, but that’s no longer the case. I’m now cocooned. My back’s pressed against his front, his arm is thrown across my waist, and his hot breath is fanning my ear.

I know it’s where I was always meant to be. In his arms.

Deep down, we both know it.

“I’m sorry about the way I reacted, darlin’.”

He’s awake. For some reason, I was sure he wasn’t, having convinced myself that he wouldn’t consciously be holding me this close if he were. That he must think I’m Sophia.

“You had every right to react the way you did. In truth, I’m not sure what I expected your reaction to be. I made the decision about Fin based on what I thought was best at the time. It was never going to be entirely right. It was never going to be entirely wrong. I don’t regret what I did. I just wish I hadn’t had to make the choice in the first place.”

There’s a pause while he digests what I’ve said. “I wish I’d been there with you… to see Finian being born. To witness all of his firsts….”

Raw emotion. Regrets. All infused with him trying to find it in himself to forgive me for what I’ve done.

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