Page 20 of Dirty Eoin

Nothing else matters. The rest is fake and immaterial.

As Irishmen, our blood binds us. I would kill for my brothers. I would die for my brothers. I seldom display affection or openly discuss my feelings, but they each know that I love them.

Two are wed to the great loves of their lives. That’s not going to be the case for our youngest brother. Today, he must be a martyr for the cause and take the vows with a girl he does not and never will love.

He is our human Duster sacrifice.

It’s a union that will see us unite with the Sicilian mafia. It will strengthen our position. It will make us more powerful. It will make us more envied. It will make us more feared.

And I’m consumed by guilt.

Not that I will show it outwardly. There’s little point. It won’t change anything. The oath behind today’s proceedings was signed in blood two years ago by both my da and Luciano Ruocco. The only way to be released from its iron-clad grip would have been through the demise of one or other of the two parties locked in.

Sophia or Padraig.

My brother doesn’t deserve this fate. When we signed his life away, we thought we were doing him a favor. No female, married, single, or otherwise was safe from his charms. And he showed no sign of ever stopping sowing his wild oats.

What none of us realized was that his actions were a result of him having already found the great love of his life, but she didn’t want him.

He cheated on her. Who could blame her?

But it transpired that our Paddy hadn’t been playing the field after all. It turns out he had effectively been on a nine-year rebound. And that at the exact moment we were signing his life away, his unrequited love was finally reciprocated.

A love so pure. A love so simple.

If you believe in fated pairs, that’s what Paddy and Jaine are.

Were.

By then, it was too late for them.

He looks at me and smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. The sparkle they once held has gone. When Jaine walked away from him that day at the Palace, little did she know she took the final speck with her.

By the end of today’s performance, he’ll be deserving of an Oscar for the part he will have played as he dazzles and entertains New York’s finest while pretending that this is the happiest day of his life.

In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

Right now, he appears confused. He’s like a death row inmate who’s finally going to have the drugs injected into his vein to end his life. It’s a day he thought would never come, and yet here it is.

There will be no stay of execution. Everyone present here today will witness as our Paddy gets strapped to the gurney he’ll have to lie on for the rest of his days.

With Sophia.

“No. I’m not ready, Eoin. I will never be ready. But I accept that I have no choice.”

He’s resigned to his fate like a lamb being led to the slaughter. There’s no point in struggling when the ending is inevitable.

We form a huddle. All four of us together. It’s not something we do often, but it’s needed today. Our youngest brother needs our combined strength to get through this and come out intact on the other side. How long he stays that way remains to be seen. The fallout from today will have to be managed one day at a time.

We all hear the single painful sob that escapes him.

Heart-breaking. Gut-wrenching. Soul-destroying. Life-ending. It’s a sound I know will live with me for the rest of my days.

We all ignore it. To acknowledge it will simply see him fall apart.

I squeeze his shoulder and then we all step back. Motioning my head towards the door, I let Cillian know it’s time to go.

We leave Paddy in the coffin-like room with Dylan, who’s acting as his best man, and make our way outside. The building is architecturally magnificent both inside and out. It’s a venue fitting for a Duster wedding. The congregation is already starting to filter in to take to their seats. The cream of the political crop. New York’s business royalty and the high rankers of our world. Manhattan’s crème de la crème.

---