Page 174 of Dirty Eoin

“I’ll go, then. It was good to see you again, Tim.” She smiles.

“You too, Jaine.”

We both watch as my ex-wife closes the door.

* * *

“You were too hasty, Eoin.”

We’re in the family room. I’m resting on one sectional, Dylan is on the other playingCall of Duty,and Ma’s standing by the window.

Unbeknown to her, I’ve started making plans to return to my own apartment, and it’s not a moment too soon. I love my family.

In small doses.

“Jaine was the one who asked for the annulment in the first place, Ma.”

“And is that what she still wanted? When was the last time that she mentioned it before you sent her a message chasing her up?”

It’s then I realize it had been months. She issued the paperwork, then never mentioned it again. It was the main reason it took me so long to complete and return it in the first place.

Had she been having second thoughts? Not that she’d ever admit as much.

I don’t even get the chance to respond.

“I love Jaine, but she’s been messing with Eoin’s head with her constant back and forth, and there was no sign of her ever committing. In turn, he was leaving Ava dangling. Leo’s sister’s a nice girl. He could do a lot worse,” Dylan answers, his face never leaving the screen.

“Can you even hear your hypocritical self, Dylan O’Connell?” Ma hisses at him.

She’s clearly not happy that I’ve asked Jaine to push through the annulment. Which means Da won’t be either.

Dylan pauses his game as he looks at her while wearing a confused frown.

Happy that she’s now got his undivided attention, she continues. “Grace was a nice girl. So was girl number two and girl number three on the list of names that me and your da compiled for you, but you insisted on marrying Jessie because you were in love with her. Are you suggesting your brother accept a fate that you weren’t prepared to settle for?”

Dylan frowns, and I do too. Ma’s right, well partially at least. Dylan would have walked over hot coals to be with Jessie because he loved her. After Grace bowed out, he wasn’t prepared to accept anyone else. But Dylan’s situation differs from mine. His love was reciprocated. Mine isn’t.

“Jaine asked me to obtain something for her recently. Something that she wouldn’t have been able to get access to. She explained that she needed it before she could move on,” Ma continues.

“And what was that?” I mutter.

“Our Padraig’s blessing.”

Dylan immediately stands and punches the air. “I knew that’s what was holding her back all this time.”

“Sit down and stop crowing. You’re also the person who encouraged me to push the annulment through.” It’s my turn to hiss.

He sits back down. He knows I’m right. He admitted to having had a similar conversation with Jaine which no doubt spurred her on to also do what she thought was right for all parties concerned.

I know I can’t blame Dylan entirely. I typed the message. I sent the message. It’s what I wanted. What I asked for.

I run my hand through my hair, annoyed that I can’t pace the floor, but it’s just too much effort to stand and Tim’s already told me off once today for doing too much.

“That revelation changes nothing. The fact of the matter is that Jaine doesn’t love me, and she never will. Sadly, Paddy’s approval or otherwise won’t alter that.”

We sit there in silence. We all know that part is true at least.

Jaine’s always been brutally honest about how she felt about me. That the arrow points firmly to hate. So, even with Paddy’s blessing, even if she did want to try again, it would still come with no guarantees of permanency or longevity. I have no more time for game-playing. I can’t simply settle for half-measures when I know with certainty that in the end she won’t. For her, it’s all or nothing.

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