Page 112 of Dirty Eoin

Jaine will forever be my kryptonite because I love her.

CHAPTERTHIRTY-FIVE

JAINE

Eoin's Apartment, Hudson Yards, New York

Dawn will break soon,and when it does, I’ll finally have spent the entire night, but there’s been no sleeping involved.

Bruised. Sated. Content. I feel all of them.

We lie there with our exhausted limbs tangled together. My head rests on his chest and he places a soft kiss on top.

Things have changed between us, and I know why. It was only ever a matter of time. It’s been building for months. Some could argue for years.

In silent response to his affectionate gesture, I place a light kiss on his chest while inhaling the scent of spicy cologne, clean sweat, and raw masculinity. I then trace the outline of one of his tattoos.

He has several. As many as Ace.

But he doesn’t have a J behind his left ear or a PJ over his heart because he’s not mine. He was never going to be mine. He can’t ever be mine.

So, my initials will never brand his skin.

“Jaine.”

His voice is gentle, which is unlike him. Eoin O’Connell doesn’t really do gentle unless it’s with either Fin or JJ. He cares about JJ now. He’s spent a lot of time bonding with him recently, and I know my little boy has grown to love him.

But there are some things more important than love.

Some may call it revenge. I call it justice.

“Yes?”

Time passes. He’s thinking about what he’s going to say. How he’s going to phrase it. I already know what it is. I canfeelit wrapped around me, infused with his darkness.

He may fuck me hard. He may fuck me painfully. But it’s all about me now. It’s no longer about him.

“I love you.”

And there it is.

Three. Little. Words.

Words that mean so much to the person saying them. Words that represent their hopes and dreams for a future together, and of two souls becoming forever intertwined.Words that leave them feeling exposed and vulnerable until they’re returned.

Words that can mean absolutely nothing to the person they’re being said to. Words that, once spoken aloud, simply represent just another part of the past.

I lie there in silence. I know he’s hoping I’ll reciprocate.

I won’t. Because this is it. The time has come to draw a line under it. I hatched my plan in a split second in Fergal’s office that day, and it worked.

Maybe too well. Maybe too quickly.

Definitely too quickly.

For months, I’ve been holding back from him. For months, I’ve been keeping him at a safe distance and pushing him away. I could sense his frustrations and I deliberately let them build.

Then tonight, I gave him what I had to to seal the deal once and for all.

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