Page 111 of Dirty Dylan: Dirty Dusters

In the end, it was just easier to avoid.

It was different for Bee and Conor. They schooled here. This town was their staple. And Tadgh? Well, he had no option but to return after Vegas. His destiny was mapped from the moment he drew his first breath. If he was fortunate enough to survive the years between being born and my daddy stepping down, he was always destined to become prez of the Sons. That was his future.

It’s different for women in a biker town. There aren’t many opportunities, and I had no intention of taking the easy way out and becoming an old lady.

I wanted a career. I wanted success. I didn’t want to rely on a man. Not for anything. A woman doesn’t have to. Not in this day and age. So, I worked hard and achieved what I set out to, but in doing so, I spent so long on the outside that, on the inside, I became more of a city girl.

I adapted. I changed. Maybe even in some ways, I compromised.

I mean, the thought of moving all the way to New York to start afresh was more welcoming than the thought of having to move back home to Colton. The first filled me with excitement, the latter with dread.

Now?

I realize Iama city girl. But I’m also a small-town girl.

I am a professional businesswoman. But I’m also a biker.

Me and Jaine Jones have more in common than we realize. There is one marked difference between us, though. There’s only one man I’m in love with, and that’s Dylan O’Connell. But who knows? Maybe Icanhave a future with someone else.

Maybe even with that beautiful asshole Tyler Grayson.

Today, for the first time in a long time, I’ve witnessed up close and personal the place I grew up. The familiar sights. The familiar faces. Will the novelty wear off after a while?

Maybe.

And if it does, then so be it. But, in the meantime, why can’t I do what Jaine’s planning? Why can’t I have it all? The best of both worlds. Why can’t I work between Manhattan and my hometown? Surely it has to be a consideration.

Today, for the first time in months, I feel happy. And it’s not because of one thing or one person. It’s because I fit in here. I belong. I’m no longer a square peg trying to squeeze into a round hole. I’m not the boyfriend-stealing beautiful girl I was always wrongly accused of being in Vegas. I’m not the business professional I am in New York.

In Colton, I’m just me. Jessie O’Brien.

Not judged. Just accepted. For who I am.

I’m still smiling an hour later when I answer the phone to my baby sister.

But it’s always short-lived, isn’t it? Happiness. Because there are always some ugly thunderclouds that sense your good mood, roll right on in, and then piss all over your parade.

“Little Bee,” I singsong as I sit on the edge of my bed.

“Jay. I don’t know how to tell you this.”

“How are you, Jay? I’m fine, Bee. Thank you for asking.”

“Jay. It’s not funny. This is important.”

“What is it? Surely it can’t be that bad.” My smile evaporates.

“Sarah’s just left.”

“Right.”

There’s a pregnant pause as my heart sinks in my chest. I already know what she’s going to say. It really is that bad. In fact, it’s worse. It’s the news I’ve been dreading hearing since I left New York.

“She’s been visiting with Roisin and Fergal. Roisin told her Dylan’s engagement party is being held in two months.”

I can’t speak. And for once, I don’t need to pretend I can. I don’t need to fill the silence with background noise or meaningless chatter to pretend I’m not affected by this news. This is my baby sister. I can be anything I want with her.

Even an emotional wreck.

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