Page 72 of Bring Me To My Knees

“Getting in my pajamas, what does it look like?” I say snarkily.

“Put some damn clothes on, Marley, please,” he says, through gritted teeth.

I put my fingers out, mentally counting.

“What are you doing?” he snaps.

“I’m trying to remember how much of an age difference there is between us.”

“Too much. Now put your fingers down and put some clothes on,” he growls.

“It’s only six years, Clark. You don’t think I’m pretty?” I pout.

“For fuck’s sake, Marley, please get dressed. This would look so bad if someone walked in right now.”

He’s glaring at me, but there’s a bit of heat in his eyes. I might be drunk, but I still see it. Or should I say, feel it. Because when Clark James looks at you, you feel that shit deep in your bones.

“I’m a full-blown adult, Marley, and you’re a teenager. This is illegal and really inappropriate. Please put some fucking clothes on.” He sounds desperate now.

“Fine,” I grumble. “One day I’m going to be too much for you to resist,” I tell him confidently.

“I don’t doubt that,” he mumbles.

Delaney’s eyes widen a fraction, but she encourages me to go on.

“Ever since the day I moved back to Spencer’s house, there’s been some weird push and pull between us. We would bicker back and forth, but then there would be this crazy sexual tension just simmering in the air. He said things to me that no one’s ever said before. It was almost as if he could see parts of me that even I couldn’t see. I tried keeping him at a distance. He’s taken, you know? But it was all just too much.” I take a deep breath, slamming my eyes shut, my brain assaulted with memories of the two of us.

“It’s okay,” she murmurs, squeezing my hand.

“This attraction is on a level that I’ve never experienced before. At first, I thought it was just because he’s forbidden, you know? This taken man, that’s also my brother’s best friend. But it’s not that anymore. He’s the person I want to tell all my secrets to. I want to call him when I’m having a bad day. I want to fucking kiss him as badly as I need air to breathe.”

“Hold on, you’ve never kissed him?” She looks at me, shocked.

“Crazy, right? There’s been so many times that it could have happened, but it didn’t. We’ve crossed so many lines, but not that one. I’m afraid that once it happens, it won’t be enough. Nothing is ever enough with him. I want it all.” I pull my hand away, dropping my face into my hands, sobbing.

Delaney rubs my back, before wrapping her arm around my shoulders and pulling me closer.

“It’s okay, Mar. Everything is going to be okay.”

“Is it, though? I think I’m in love with him. How will that ever be okay?” I wipe some tears from my eyes.

“It’s going to be okay, because you’re allowing yourself tofeelagain. I think you’ve been hiding behind your pain for a long time now, and everyone around you has been an enabler. Nobody has really forced you to talk about things or feel things. I was the worst. In a time that I should have been there for you, I wasn’t. I dragged you around to party after party and watched you spiral out of control. That’s not what friends do. I was immature, and I’m sorry about that,” she says, wiping her eyes.

“You’re not a bad friend,” I tell her.

“Maybe not now, but I was back then.”

“I saw a therapist in boarding school. It was forced upon me, and sometimes I feel like I didn’t take it seriously, because I wasn’t ready,” I admit.

“What about now?” she asks.

I nod, wiping my eyes. “I’m ready now. I think I have a lot to unpack.”

“I can’t believe we’re having a heart to heart at a college party, in the bathroom,” Delaney says, laughing, breaking up the seriousness of the situation.

“Dressed up like an angel and a devil,” I respond, gesturing towards our ridiculous outfits.

We both start laughing, until the tears are from that instead of the conversation we’ve had.

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