Page 1 of Room Nineteen: Bulls in Her Court

Chapter One

Romi

I need blackout curtains in here.

That’s my very first thought after the impromptu, mid-afternoon, vanilla romp with my ex, Kieran. The sun is bursting into my room and splashing all over his face and body, still prone in my bed, reminding me of bad decisions.

Catching me looking at him, he gives me a syrupy, sedated smile. It’s sweet. He’s not bad-looking, and his body got the job done. When I called him over I wasn’t thinking about how I would feel afterward. I wasn’t thinking about how he would feel. I wasn’t thinking.

He looks so happy. I smile, but it’s forced. I needed this. Physically, I neededsex. But now that I’m satisfied and he’s still here…

He lifts up a little in the bed, scootches in toward me. Not quite cuddling me. He wasn’t much of a cuddler even when we were together. I moped about it then. I’m grateful for it now.

“This was amazing.” Kieran looks at me with smiling eyes. Those same, blue eyes dance all around my bedroom. Well notmybedroom. The bedroom I’m renting. Well, I’m not paying rent yet. It’s a whole story. The room, however, is gorgeous, spacious.

“Andthisis…wow.” Kieran whistles. “You always wanted this.”

I cringe inside. “That’s not why I left, Ki.”

“C’mon.” He tilts his head at me in that condescending manner, his smile going up more on just one side. Italmostappears earnest. “You were always happier when I could give you more.”

“I was happy when you were nice.”

He exhales an exhausted sounding breath. “Let’s not get into all of that again.”

“Please,” I echo thelet’s just stop fightingsentiment. It’s all pointless now anyway.

Facing inward in the bed toward me, he leans the top and side of his head against the soft, padded, heather-gray headboard. He reaches out to pet my shoulder, gentle and quick. “I’m so glad you called me, baby. I know it was hard sometimes, every relationship is hard like that, ya know? But you were everything to me. I’m sorry for all those times I was a dick to you.”

“Thank you,” I murmur.

His dopey, genuine smile comes back. “I’m happy you called though. I miss you. I’ve been dying for us to just stop all this already and get back together.”

Of all the verbal weaponry he’s aimed at me over the last four years, those words hit the most keenly straight into my chest. No, he can’t say that. Don’t say that. “Kieran, I’m sorry. I just needed sex. I just needed…”

“A sneaky link? I can be that guy.” He chuckles. Not like a humorless, mirthless chuckle. Not like a real one, like from his belly. It’s a sound like…relief? I can’t tell if it’s real. It doesn’t match the wounds I still recognize, seated deep in his obnoxiously blue eyes. Yeah, I know I hurt him too.

“Forget everything I just said. I cantotallybe that guy,” he says unconvincingly.

“No you can’t. I won’t let you. It wouldn’t be fair for me to do that to you.”

We lapse into silence. Then suddenly Kieran pops up from the bed. He turns around, giving me his butt. It’s a good butt. He gets dressed in an almost angry fashion. “You’re really making me feel worse right now, you know that right?” he spits out at me.

I sit up bed, letting my hair and my tits just fall where they are. “I called you because…I was horny,” I let out a sigh, “and you’re comfortable, Ki.”

The word I don’t use but want to is ‘predictable’. I knew what I needed and I knew Kieran would get me there. I knewhowhe would get me there. I’m also pretty sure he doesn’t have an STD and that he’d say yes to coming over when I asked. So, that’s convenient.

“I’m so comfortable with you too, baby. Isn’t that the foundation of all great relationships?” Fully dressed, he flops his torso over the side of the bed he was on and reaches for my hands. He holds both of mine in one. “Isn’t this good?” I let him hold them for one protracted moment before I pull my hands out of his grasp.

“Maybe it is. Itwas. And then we broke up and it was the worst experience of my life. I can’t do that again.”

“We won’t bre—”

I yank myself out of bed and put some clothes on. Just whatever I can find that’s strewn on the floor. They don’t match or fit or look great. I just need toput them on. I throw my gaze at him on the other side of the room. He’s standing up now, with his big hands raked into his hair. I give him a sad,I’m sorrylook.

“I shouldn’t have called you over here, Kieran. I was horny and lonely and I wasn’t thinking.”

“No. You weren’t.”

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