Page 62 of Bulletproof Jack: Hunting Lee Child's Jack Reacher

Until the target for the FQT was selected.

“We can’t do that,” he’d said, slack jawed.

“We can and we will,” Morin had replied coldly. “Either you can do it or someone else will.”

“But surely we can choose another target?”

“There’s no reason to do that. We’ve made the right decision,” Morin repeated. “Are you on board or not?”

“And if I say no, what are you going to do?” Liam replied, jutting his chin forward in defiance. “It’s not like you’ve got a backup plan, now is it?”

Morin frowned. “You’re right. I was wrong. This is your job and you’ll do it. Period.”

Morin hung up and Liam had pitched the phone across the sidewalk. The hard plastic rectangle slammed against a brick wall and bounced onto the sidewalk. Liam didn’t bother to retrieve it. The damned thing would never work again and that was just fine with him.

Liam had stuffed his hands into his pockets, head down, and walked toward his SUV. He wished Morin had never told him.

He felt as if he’d been asked to eat his own family.

He couldn’t reconcile his euphoria with such despair.

Feelings were always a problem for him. Feelings caused chaos, anger, frustration. Sometimes, violence. He’d learned simply to ignore them.

But he couldn’t compartmentalize his feelings this time either. Which was not normal. Not even close.

Despair was not an emotion he’d experienced before. He quite simply didn’t know how to handle it.

He closed his eyes, breathing deeply, and allowed his mind to wander, taking a mental break. The technique worked better than anything else to help him relax.

To the extent he was capable of relaxation.

Lucas had been quite irritated with him. “Try meditation. If that doesn’t work, try something else. Not sleeping is making you crazy. And it’s not great for the rest of us who have to deal with you, either.”

“Right,” Liam replied, because he’d already tried, and the effort was useless. He had never been able to quiet his mind. Not since he was a child.

Stifling the constant churning of his thoughts was simply impossible.

Eventually, he’d developed a technique for watching his thoughts. He knew how to detach himself. He’d been doing it all his life. Detachment from all things was his usual default position.

The first face that crossed his mind tonight was Lucas, his kid brother. Lucas had always been the head of their little family of two.

Which made no logical sense, really. How could that be?

Liam was older, smarter, wealthier, and dammit, better looking. He grinned in the dark.

But the point was he should have been taking care of Lucas all these years. Instead, Lucas was the stable one. The caring one.

And yes, the reliable one.

“Where are you, Lucas?” he said aloud. The question nagged him.

Liam visualized his brother in the arms of a worthy woman who adored him and wanted to have his babies and live in familial bliss forever more.

Not that Lucas ever mentioned such a creature. But Liam hoped she existed. If anyone deserved happiness, it was Lucas.

Maybe there were better brothers in the world. Liam had no frame of reference for that. He had Lucas. No one else.

And Liam was quite sure that no other brother would have put up with him all these years the way Lucas had. For that alone, his brother deserved several medals.

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